Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?

Hello Friends...it's definitely awesome to be back from my digital sabbatical.

I enjoyed unplugging  BUT I truly missed blogland and glad i am back!

This morning Monday, i wanted to pose the question: 

Is your spouse your best friend?

Many times when we get married, we refer to our spouse as our best friend.  

Which sounds nice and fluffy however in actuality,

 is he or she really your best friend? 

The person you call, "your person", 

the one you share the most embarrassing details of your life--

like the time you took the medication that made you have diarrhea.  

The one you call in the middle of the night if the police pulls you over.  

You know "your person!" 

Is that your spouse?

According to the Urban Dictionary,  a best friend is described as:

They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. 

You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life.

They give the best hugs in the world!

They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. 

In most cases they would take a bullet for you, cause it would be too painful to watch you get hurt. 

Wikipedia refers to the value of friendships

 is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

The tendency to desire what is best for the other

Sympathy and empathy

Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, 

especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart

Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support

Enjoyment of each other's company

Trust in one another

Positive reciprocity — a relationship is based on equal give-and-take between the two parties.

The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement.

When we take stock of our relationships with our spouse, 

we shouldn't just say they are our best friends, we should actually act upon it. 

We should really value them according to the value scale above.

Recently, Mr. Pancakes and i went through a situation which

 made me realize as much as i refer to him as my best friend,

 i wasn't valuing him as my best friend.  

I shared things with him BUT

 i wasn't sharing ALL my deepest and darkest secrets 

from the past and having this realization come to life 

(at the gentle encouragement from my wonderful husband) 

we were able to have an open dialogue which i believed has strengthened our marriage

 even more so than i thought possible.

Where i thought i was going be judged, he embraced me and accepted me.
Where i thought were shameful moments, he laughed them off with me...

I realized not sharing some parts of myself with him (as trivial as it may be) 

made him feel like he didn't know all of me. 

 And aren't best friends supposed to know all about each other?

I know i have the best husband in the world but having this open and honest dialogue

 made me realize the importance of having your spouse as your best friend.

And i believe this is the best lesson we have learned so far in our young and awesome marriage.

As a newlywed, i am finding out the "getting to know you" stage

 continues all the way through your marriage.

 And i am so glad Mr. Pancakes and i value open communication and truth telling,

 whether it be bad, good and ugly. 

We have decided to talk and work through it

 because we value our relationship as best friends, wife and husband.  

Now when we both say we are each other's best friend, 

i know and he knows unequivocally we are each other's best friend 

and this is a wonderful feeling.  

Question of the Day

1) Is your Spouse really your best friend?

2) What makes your spouse your best friend?

Team Pancakes went there...we took a Risk and Survived!

http://mynewwifelife.blogspot.com/2011/12/thriving-love-thursday-1.html