Happy Friday Friends!!
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Another Secret Newlywed Behavior is that i have NOT changed my last name as of yet.
I want to but i've just had too much other stuff going on.
How can other stuff get in the way of becoming the Mr's. official Mrs?!
But sometimes life gets in the way and other things take precendence
like figuring out my immigration issues.
Remember i am actually Canadian who moved to the U.S of A for LOVE
and currently working under a Visa.
Clearly i am in the USA to stay and hence there are a few things i need to get done
before i can change my name and other official documents.
In a lot of ways, i feel like a bad wife because i haven't changed my name
and our one year anniversary is coming up.
But i think Mr. Pancakes' understands
and i am NO LESS his wife because i have not officially taken his last name.
So i am making this confession as a newlywed to give myself a break.
If you are a newlywed out there...give yourself a break too.
There time and place for everything in marriage.
But trust me, it is on my list of to-do's as I am taking the steps to
Taking His Last Name!
Question of the Day:
How soon after you were married did you take his last name?
I did my name change in the first month after the wedding, but I think it's important to remember that there are plenty of women who have absolutely no desire to change their name, and that this is also a great choice! I changed my name for several personal reasons, including the desire to switch to a less common name and stop the endless confusion with others regarding my accounts and personal records. But I strongly feel that we as a society should never "expect" a woman to change her name.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby and I have been married 2.5 years and I still haven't. It's also on my to-do list but it's finding the time to get started. I have to renew my drivers license this year so I figure that will be the time to do it.
ReplyDeleteI changed my name almost immediately. Not because I felt like I wasn't married if I hadn't, but just because I was checking things of my to-do list! My passport was the most complicated thing to get done...ughhh, such a pain!
ReplyDeleteThat would be much more time consuming to change your name then! I changed my last name about 5 or 6 weeks after we were married. I had to change it pretty quick to get my teaching license worked out before my internship started.
ReplyDeleteIn Belgium it's impossible to change your last name :(
ReplyDeleteI wish I could!!! I'm so sad it's not possible :(
We got back from the wedding and I changed it the following morning. I knew I didn't want to take time off of work to do it and since I still had a few days off that was the only time, for me, that made sense. I still haven't done my passport yet though. :(
ReplyDeleteI changed it the month we got married. Mostly because I had the summer before I went back to school and so I had some time. I scheduled all of the paperwork stuff over the course of about a week. BUT I didn't have to mess with visa issues so I bet it would have taken me a lot longer if I had needed to do that!
ReplyDeleteI think it's so important to give yourself a break. You're no less "his" with a different last name. :)
We're not married (but have been together for 6 years). I plan on keeping my last name though. Nothing wrong with either way though of course :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not married yet but as of this moment I don't think I'm going to change my last name, just because back in my country where I came from we don't change last names. But nothing wrong changing or not changing your name! :D have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteIt took me about 9 months after getting married to change my name. No idea when I'll go back to my maiden now that I'm divorced.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that you should write that. I know so many of my friends who got married and that was pretty much the first thing that they did. I'm happy to see that love can still blossom (like yours) even though the name change thing is still on your list of things to do.
ReplyDeleteHi my dear,
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One of my good friends, also from Canada, never took her husband's last name. Their 3 children have his last name.
ReplyDeleteMe, I couldn't get my husband's last name fast enough!! ;)
I didn't know you were Canadian! I changed my name within a month of getting married. Coming from a strong feminist background in single sex education from 8th grade through college I had several discussions with my schoolmates/peers about it. I remember having one discussion with Hispanic and black engaged friends and one of them saying how they wouldn't take on a man's name. I then explained that her current name was a man's name (her father's) and for me as an African-American marrying a Nigerian I'd gladly relinquish a slave-owners name for a Nigerian name and let my children see our solidarity and pride in their heritage. With your situation and with mine and each of our reasons for being different I think it's important that we simply respect each of our decisions to keep/change our last names.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger I was soooo excited to take my future husband's name...and then I ended up with a guy with a horrible last name (the perils of being an Asian immigrant in a society that butchers your once noble last name into a joke). So now I'll probably just keep my last name legally once we marry, but people can call me Mrs. [his last name]
ReplyDeleteOh...I had no idea it was this complicated as you are a Canadian Resident. I'm sure you'll have this done asap :)
ReplyDeleteI changed my name within a week of us getting back from our honeymoon. I was ready to officially be Mrs. A. I'm pretty old fashion about that. It was a lot easier for me to do than it sounds like it will be for you.
ReplyDeleteI got married in mid August and changed my name by the end of August. My first stop was the social security office and after that everything else was easy. Although the drivers license office is always a mini hell hole. I hate going there!
ReplyDeleteMrs. P
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you were from Canada I love learning new things about you!
If I was to get married I would def take his last name with a hyphen of course :).
I am not married, and I don't see that happening in the near future, but for me I am an only child so I would want to keep my last name. I guess I could use a hyphen. I don't know I guess I will cross that bridge if I ever get there but I just hate the thought of no one carrying on my dad's last name. Maybe I should look for someone with the same last name as me and then I won't have to change it ha ha. Either way, I think it's a personal decision and everyone has a right to do what they want.
ReplyDeleteI hyphenated my last name right after we got married. It was my compromise. He didn't care one way or another. Each married woman has to do what feels right for her.
ReplyDeleteI am still doing the paper work - more than two years later! We moved countries a few times so it has been hard to switch everything over when we are back home (there is always so little time!)
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living
I changed mine pretty quickly, but I remember putting it off a few times! Haha!! I love having my husband's last name, but I certainly don't think it makes anyone a "less wife" by not having it. Some women prefer to keep their name anyway!
ReplyDeleteMy name was changed within a few weeks after getting married. 30 years ago not many women kept their last name in the states. Hyphenating was new too.
ReplyDeleteIt took me about 6 months... I was pregnant and a full time student and when I had free time, I was laying on the couch.
ReplyDeleteOnce I got married, I changed my name on my SS card and I changed my passport immediately. Everywhere else still had my maiden name. I had so many things to change, like my license, bar memberships, work records, etc. I finally changed over everything maybe a year and a half after we got married. The thing that prompted me to stop procrastinating is that I got really sick and had to be in the hospital for a pretty long time. My husband, being my next of kin, had a little difficulty handling my hospital affairs because we did not have the same last name. It was a real eye opener for me. If you need a little help, try maidennamechange.com. It was sooooo helpful!
ReplyDeleteI still have my last name. It suits me! I prefer it that way. Because of a tradition, we wouldn't share the same last name anyway. I would have his family name (which my daughter has) and he has a last name that is only meant for him. #complicated.
ReplyDeleteI changed my name within a month or two of getting married. However, I hyphenated my name. Some people have questioned my choice to hyphenate, but it's what I wanted do and it works for me.
ReplyDelete