Yesterday I was definitely on a high and I still am
but lately I've been feeling the Blogging & Sleeping Blues.
I want to blog more, I want to read more blogs...
I want to sleep more, I want to sleep more...
I want to blog the way I did before I had a baby
and I know i can't and shouldn't even wish for that...
But sometimes I really miss blogging like I used to....
But then again I miss being able to sleep the way I used to...
I miss sleeping in on Saturday...
I miss cuddling up to my husband for hours at a time...
I miss spontaneous hanky panky...
(well that kind of happens sparingly..TMI, i know!)
In many ways I have accepted my new role as mom
and I LOVE it but sometimes just sometimes...
I want to be able to blog and sleep a little longer...
I am in awe of mothers that are able to write thought provoking blogs
and read other people's blogs at the same time...
And look refreshed and awake doing so...
Most nights I can't even find the time to wash his bottles because
although Baby Pancakes is crawling, standing and moving around the house...
he still needs to have me close to him.
We've tried the playpen and he HATE it
because it contains him and my baby will not be contained....
I am thinking I need to be mean-mommy and just let him cry....
But of course he has mastered crying in decibels...
he starts off real low and then if we don't get to him in time...
he takes it up a few more decibels...
That child of mine...I LOVE him but sometimes just sometimes...
I am feeling guilty as I write this because I know I am blessed
but I felt like being honest with myself today....
Motherhood is everything I thought it would be and so much more....
I knew I would miss blogging but not this much...
I knew I would miss sleeping but not this much...
I knew I would miss having couple time but not this much...
I knew I would LOVE this little boy but not this much!
When it's all said and done...blogging & sleeping blues aside...
Most times I wouldn't have any other life but this one!!!
****************************************
Thank you all for sticking around and reading while
I find my way back to getting enough sleep to blog again!!
I appreciate it more than you will ever know!!!
Question of the Day:
Do you have any blues you wanna share?
I totally understand how you feel. Even though I feel so blessed that I have my son, it's hard to figure out who you are again. Life changes and you change in an instant. 9 months of pregnancy can't even begin to prepare you for that. I think it's normal to long for those pieces of your "old" life. Eventually we'll figure out how to piece it all together. I'm sure of it.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderfully honest post. I think some mom's are afraid to say they miss certain things because then it must mean they don't appreciate or love their baby enough. Not true. You are human, sleep is wonderful and it's totally natural to miss it. I don't know how mom's do it...and that's why we haven't had kids. Hang in there! He'll get older, more independent and then things will change....unless you have another.
ReplyDeleteI think what helped me continue to blog frequently even after having JJ was that I would take my free time from one day to jot down all my thoughts on paper and then the next day I would write up blog posts and schedule them to auto post. But I completely understand about missing the sleep and not having to worry about intimate time being interrupted because somebody needs a diaper change or meal.
ReplyDeleteOMG! I thought I was the only person feeling this way. I haven't fully gotten back to working out and I miss a lot of things I used to do before. This weekend was another reminder. It used to be that my time in MA was a relaxing time with family to get rejuvenated. Not this time. This time, it was all about feeding, changing diapers, caring for baby and pumping. It was daunting BUT I still wouldn't change it for ANYTHING in the world. All I have to do is see the smile on my daughter's face and I'd do it all over again just to see how happy she is.
ReplyDeleteThis post was very moving - you are a strong woman. I'm sure every mother feels this way at some point, it makes sense. And you know what..one day you'll miss these moments one day too:) (probably not the lack of sleep...but him constantly wanting to be with you) You'll fall into more a of a natural routine as he gets older. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI could have written this or did you read my mind? I also miss being able to jump in the car and just go. Now it's a production to go anywhere. I miss having less laundry to do. Who knew a baby goes through that many clothes and spit cloths!
ReplyDeleteBy the way when does a baby start to sleep longer and crawl?
i think as mommas we all have these feelings, and I applaud you for being humble enough to post about your blues! I definitely miss some of the spontaneous things that we used to do! However, I can offer you hope that in a way it does get better. Now that Elyse is older we are able to do more things and stay out later...which is definitely a blessing!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I've been having the blogging blues lately too. I feel like I have nothing new or fresh, and have been so busy with work and our farm, that I don't have the energy to do something thought-provoking or interesting...I just need a vacation I think!
ReplyDeleteLove that you were able to just "get the feelings out" and express how you feel. We all need that moment to vent and it's okay to have negative feelings sometimes. The good thing is that we don't get more placed on us than we can bare and this shall pass. Hang in there! A cyber hug!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your feelings are shared by many new moms. I won't pretend I understand but I have a feeling that one day I'll be sharing the same sentiment.
ReplyDeleteIt's ok to miss things you use to do without a thought. You're only human.
We'll be here and continue to be here because we adore you and your blog. In no time you'll be blogging more and hopefully sleeping more too :)
This post was RIGHT ON TIME! My baby boy is four months and he requires every bit of my attention. Then my nine year old seems to be EXTREMELY needy as well. I went back to work last week and exhausted is an understatement. My schedule is nuts and I have been trying to blog to have so sain time. I Avnet been able to hit the gym, because with next to no sleep by the time I get off there's no energy left. I too, struggle with letting RJ cry it out, but I just can't bear sitting there letting him fuss. My daughter slept through the night at five weeks and napped regularly when she was a baby. She fussed when she was hungry and dirty, other than that she chilled out. Not this little boy!!! Me and my hubby both ate feeling it, but I just keep reminding myself this time is temporary and so short lived and ill miss him being this size when he's all big and not needing me anymore. But oh how I miss those little things. Thanks for reading my mind and posting it!!!
ReplyDeletei feel like i want to comment more but i get tired at the end of the day.
ReplyDeletei feel like i want to comment more but i get tired at the end of the day.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true and honest. Being a mom is hard work and though we wouldn't trade it for the world, it helps to vent away.
ReplyDeleteTake your time, give yourself a break, and don't be too hard on yourself.
I dont have kids but I totally understand. Just more time. I always feel like I need more time. Im prstty sure those moms that have kids and blog have had time to adjust to things. But remember, things arent always as they seem.
ReplyDeleteI can sympathize! I have many of those same feelings. I am so backed up on blogging about things that I want to blog about i feel like its almost not worth writing about it anymore!
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