Secret Newlywed Behaviors: Solo Time

Time for another Secret Newlywed Behavior Confessions.

I remember when i was in high school, i went to a lot of movies by myself!

Yes i was probably a nerd or a loner or both but nonetheless...i really enjoyed my solo time.  

In college, i probably spent too much time away pinning away for my home-based boyfriend

which lead me to do a lot of activities on my own.

But again, all these individual activities allowed me to grow.

Before meeting Mr. Pancakes...i was used to doing activities on my own like

movies, dinner, coffee shop and reading books at the local bookstore. 

Doing all the things i LOVED. 

I am finding it is important to have solo-time as a newlywed

because it makes me a better wife. 

It allows me to do activities which i enjoy including having friends outside of my marriage. 

Of course it's important to surround yourself with healthy friends.  

Recently i went to dinner on my own which was nice.  

Doing some pampering activities is also important. 

If Mr. Pancakes is unable to go attend church because of work commitments,

i will attend church on my own. 

This allows me to grow outside of my husband.

And i find a happy me makes a happy wife which makes a happy husband which makes a happy marriage.

It's all comes together!

Question of the Day:

How Do you spend your Solo-Time?

Should She?

Happy Monday Friends!!

Recently after almost four years of dating off and on, Justin Timberlake proposed to Jessica Biel!

Of course all this could be rumors but for argument sake, we will say they are engaged.

Getty Images via http://www.entertainment.becomegorgeous.com/

Another rumor circulating is that Jessica has decided to

have a $500,000 Cheating Claus in their pre-nup in case Justin cheats.

Now my question is this: 

If you know your fiance is a cheater

(because he has a history of cheating during your relationship)

would you go ahead with the marriage?

What exactly is the Cheating Claus going to do?

Question of the Day:

Given these reasons, Should she go ahead and marry him?

LongLazySunday: Week 8

Welcome to another glorious LongLazySunday, hope all is well with you today.

I must admit i haven't been feeling like myself and i find this has been reflective in my post as of late.

Hopefully soon i will be back to myself so i can blog with a vengeance.

This Sunday i am working after Church however i wanted to post

what i will be doing later on tonight after work. 

Team Pancakes has a whole load of laundry to wash, fold and put away. 

The hubby's responsibility is to do laundry and mine is to fold

however sometimes he leaves it for weeks at a time. 

Ahhh husbands!

You gotta love them!

After the laundry...

Team Pancakes will be watching Basketball All-Stars:



From nba.com



Instead of Hollywood All-Stars!

Original source: Comingsoon.net via hollywood.com

Whatever you do today (tonight), hopefully you've made it a LongLazySunday.

Grab the button and share how you are spending your version of a LongLazySunday!

Oscar Rewind...

How's your Saturday going so far?

I haven't watched much of the movies up for an Oscar this year so i can't speak to them 

however i can reminisce a little and talk about previous 

Oscar movies and fashions that i have enjoyed over the years!!

Hope you enjoy along with me!

And one of these days...i will try and watch all of the 2012 Oscar nominees.

Movies

Forrest Gump

who doesn't remember a line or scene from Forrest Gump!

He was such an amazing soul!

SlumDog Millionaire

i was soooo glad i saw this movie before all the hype....

it is such an awesome love story!

Rain Man

i LOVE this movie...

i can watch this movie over and over again because Raymond is endearing! 

Titanic

who didn't cry and weep over this movie! 

Did you hear it's coming back in 3D...

not sure about that because 3D hurts my eyes.

FASHIONS

Halle Berry--2009
Originally from: Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images

Michelle Williams--2006
she is just awesome!
Photo by: Chris Polk/FilmMagic

Sandra Bullock--2011
Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images North America

Angelina Jolie--2009
This dress was made by gorgeous by her earrings/hair...so pretty!!
Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

There you have, some of my favorite Oscar movies and fashions!

How about you, Have you seen any of the 2012 Oscar nominated movies?

And who are some of the stars you watch out for in terms of fashion?

Image Credit: ©A.M.P.A.S

300 Days of Love

Dear Mr. Pancakes,

I can't believe we are at 300 days of love!

Time just seems to fly while having having fun.

This month we celebrate 4 years of knowing each other.

Since the first day we talked, we haven't stopped talking and i hope we never do!

This is what i wrote almost 4 years ago in my journal:

2/25/2008

"I met a guy last week and i must say i am smitten. 

We spoke for about 3.5 hours closer to 4 hours 

and the whole entire time we were laughing and just having a good time!"

I cannot believe that "the guy" who had me "smitten" has become my husband and future!

Life sure has a way of happening to us in the best kind of ways...

Here's to many many more days!!

Love,  Mrs. Pancakes!

52 Weeks of Love: Nini & Chris

I am over the moon that Janine agreed to help celebrate 52 Weeks of Love with us today.  

As Team Pancakes' anniversary draws near, II continue to learn from all of you ladies and it warms my heart to be able to share this time in my life and marriage with you all.

So thank you Janine for celebrating your first 52 weeks of love with us!

________________________________________________________

Hi my name is Janine and I blog over at Life As Mrs. H.

I was immensely thrilled when Mrs. Pancakes asked me to be a part of her 52 weeks of love series.

(thank you Mrs. Pancakes I look forward to connecting 

with other happily married newlyweds and thank you for this wonderful series).

Ahem, so let's get to my post shall we.

My wonderful hubby Chris and I have been happily married and in love since Nov. 13th 2010. 

Hmmm, what can I say about our first year of marriage, our 52 weeks in love?

It all went by so fast, it was quite a whirlwind. 

But I definitely mean that in a good way.

I've heard alot of couples say their first year was difficult but for us it was a breeze. 

Actually we laughed and acted a fool through so much of it, it seems like it was too easy.

My husband's practice grew tremendously (thank God), so he was always away on trips. 

That was a bit trying at times but thank goodness for skype!

As a couple we really kept alot of the laughter around in our relationship, 

we've realized (or at least I have) that because of our hectic schedules 

its best to treasure the moments we spend together rather 

than nit picking about something that didn't get done.

We takes turns pretty much finding the lighter side of most situations 

we're placed in...and when all else fails we just pure act a fool and goofy!

That's sure to make the other laugh.

Don't get me wrong it hasn't all been peonies and roses.

We've had some rough patches in there: like the days I miss him so badly 

and I can't stand him being gone, or he walks into one of 

my self inflicted war paths of beating myself down over school work.

But we get through it. The beauty of our relationship that I've always like is that 

he is the complete balance to every piece of me.

He knows how to manage my tantrums, how to comfort me and how to be silly and play with me.

It's the reason I knew he was meant for me. 

We've always been an adventurous couple but we really didn't do anything 

crazy and daring this year as we would normally engage in 

(one of our first dates was skydiving together and on our honeymoon we dived with sharks!).

That doesn't mean life didn't throw an adventure our way though.

During our first year of marriage we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. 

We are both immensely strong in our faith, and our commitment to one day have a family, 

so we have seen this not so much as an obstacle but more as a tool to make use stronger.

I've found a great community of IFer's through blogging and my readers have kept me sane, 

allowed me to vent or be emotional and been a great guidance and support.

And of course there is my husband. He is like my earthly rock. He has been there every step of the way reinforcing his love and support and promising to never give up until we have the family we desire. 

There are a few things that I have gotten used to after a year of being married. 

Things that bring me tons of comfort and put a smile on my face, 

a few lessons that I've learned and things I know:

1. Every morning without fail he kisses me before he leaves the house for work and whispers 

how much I mean to him, and even though I'm asleep cause it's 5am 

I look forward to feeling those kisses and hearing the mumbling, 

even though I can't wake up to answer. 

2. No matter how many times I try to cut back the amount of chocolate 

he eats I'll always find stashes in the freezer.

3. It never fails that 15 minutes after laying down, while I'm still talking about the day he is fast asleep.

4. We've cooked Sunday lunch together every Sunday

 since we've been dating and I hope that never changes (except when we're travelling). 

5. I've learned that forgiving each other and moving on is key. 

We rarely argue but when we do we make sure to talk it through 

till both people are happy to put it to rest.

6. If we're going somewhere its best to let me drive, 

my husband like most men has no sense of direction, 

and it saves me from being in the passenger seat handing out instructions. 

"Turn here, slow down, move over to that lane". 

I admit I'm horrible at being a passenger. His dad said its like having Tom Tom and Jan Jan! lol!

7. I can't fall asleep unless my husband is right beside me....

it's true I have to back my butt up on to him every night 

and no matter how many times he moves my butt follows.

8. I still get weak in the knees when he takes off his shirt 

and I find him just as irresistible today as when we were dating. 

We are still hot for each other and I certainly hope that never changes. 

9. Don't try to tell him how to run his business. 

I can sometimes butt my little nose in where 

it doesn't belong and I've learned when it comes to his business 

and his employees its best to listen until my advice is asked for. 

Sometimes he just needs to vent and for me to listen. 

He isn't always looking for me to fix things. 

10. We will never agree on the thermostat cause Chris really grew up on a set of Happy Feet 

and I undoubtedly must have lived on the Sun. 

So we compromise by keeping it cold and I get to put on his favorite sweatshirt and socks. 

11. He talks in his sleep and I walk in mine.

12. We both have great taste but are horrible at decorating ourselves. 

13. We are truly each other's best friend and this past year has solidified that fact. 

So that's us in a nutshell. Not really! But it's as much as I can share. 

I'm looking forward to my life with Chris and many many more weeks in love with him. 

Thanks for letting me share with you today and I look forward to hearing from others on their life in love!

_______________________________________________________

Janine, thank you for your candor and honesty! 

You and Chris are such a fun and loving couple 

and i cannot wait to see how your beautiful love story enfolds.

Question of the Day:

Janine and her husband are definitely an adventurous couple, 

What's your most adventurous date?

Living our Vows: Alida & Tom

I came across Alida's blog when i was planning my wedding and i couldn't be any happier because during this period in my life...i wanted to meet and be around individuals that were living their vows the way i wanted to.   I have never met Alida however as soon as you begin reading her blog Blackpurl's Knitpickings...an expat's journal, you get to know the woman, the wife, the mother and the expat.  

I hope you learn from her as i continue to learn. 

___________________________________________________

Thirty years ago

December 13, 1981.

At the wise old age of 18 we thought we knew it all...

how much we've learned since then.

We've seen that God's plans for us are far better than our dreams for us.

We've undergone growth and change individually that deepended our bong of unity.

We've experienced hurts deeper than expected.

We've been bleesed wtih joys greater than anticipated.

We've realized the immense riches of a life lived together.

Thirty years ago, we thought we loved each other.

Now, we know we do.

(side note: i LOVE this Alida! I will have to borrow this in thirty years)

The number one lesson I want to share about being in a long term relationship 

is that love is not a feeling... it is a decision.

 In my humble opinion 72 days of married life is not long enough to determine that a marriage is not going to work. Getting to “happily ever after” takes more than 3 and a half months. 

Seriously, I have spent longer than that searching for a well fitting pair of jeans. 

I think I have taken my jeans pursuit more seriously than Kim Kardashian did her marriage. 

Did she really do everything she could 

or did she simply make her decision based on her feelings?

Living in love is not about how you feel from day to day.

It is about deciding to honor your commitment, 

it is about facing the reality that marriage takes work.

 It is about both people being willing to do whatever it takes to stay together.

 I am not talking about compromising values or allowing yourself to be abused in any form. 

But about truly making an effort to have a successful thriving relationship.

Tom and I have reminisced about the for better or for worse vow we took. 

We have enjoyed times of 'better' and we are grateful for those occasions. 

We have also experienced the 'worse'. 

The short version of stressful events reads: 

two stillbirths and a miscarriage, deaths of family members, 

university, graduate school for Tom, raising kids, car accidents, 

moving across country, experiencing poverty, debt, remodeling a home, 

moving overseas with two teens and so on.

And we have lived to tell the tale.

Our parents did it too.

And our grandparents.

It can be done.

Two weeks into our marriage we had a huge fight. I don't remember what the fight was about. 

But, I do remember storming out and going 'home to mother'. 

My mother taught me about boundaries way before pop psychology or Dr. Phil came along. 

She had taken away my house key when I moved out so I had to ring the doorbell to get in. 

She came to the door and asked me what I wanted. 

Looking at her through the screen door, which she wouldn't even unlock, 

I started crying and said that we'd had a fight. She stared at me with an expressionless face. 

And then she uttered the most priceless words she has ever spoken to me. 

“You don't live here anymore...Go home and work it out.” “But, Mama!” I cried. 

She used the broken record technique on me...”You don't live here anymore. 

Go home and work it out!” I went home. We worked it out. 

And each time we came up against a hard place in our marriage 

we chose to work on the issue, sometimes with the help of a neutral third party, 

before it could devastate our relationship beyond repair. 

We believe that divorce is not an option...period.

It is so easy to get caught up in the wedding and forget that a marriage is going to follow.                                                         And a marriage is so much more important than a wedding.                                                                                                 

A wedding lasts just a few hours 

but marriage is meant to last a lifetime.

  

___________________________________________________

It is an honor to know you Alida & Tom and your 30 years of marriage is definitely an inspiration to us all.

Thank you for sharing how you and Tom have lived and continue to live your vows on a daily basis.  
We all need to hear again and again  that love is not a feeling 
but a decision especially during the "worse" days.


Question of the Day:
Alida and Tom have been married for thirty years and that's 
such a wonderful testimony to living their vows! 
Whose the longest married couple you know? 
And how many years have they been married?

Part of a 2-Some...

Good Morning Friends...

it's Monday and i hope you are in great spirits!

two·some/ˈto͞osəm/

A pair of people considered together. A game or dance for or involving two people.

I LOVE being married.

I LOVE being part of a 2-some.

I LOVE being part of this team called Team Pancakes.

There is something beautiful about spending everyday with my bestest friend

 in the world who makes me laugh and smile all the time.

Mr. Pancakes is definitely the Yin to my Yang.

He is the jelly to my peanut butter.

The Chocolate to my Chip.

The Sheldon to my Leonard.

The Martin to my Gina.

The Mickey to my Minnie Mouse.

The Downward to My Dog...

You get the drift...he is the perfect half to my pair.

Seriously, we fit together like no other.

All this being said, i LOVE being part of a 2-some.

HOWEVER...

you knew this was coming...

sometimes it's difficult being part of a 2-some because 

MOST if not ALL major decisions have to be checked out with my perfect pair.  

Because as part of Team Pancakes (our marriage),  it is important to make decisions together

 especially when it impacts the both of us.

That being said, when i want to do something and the hubby doesn't agree 

because in his eyes it may impact our lives negatively in the long run, i have to reconsider my wants.  

And as frustrating as this may be sometimes...i have to be in agreement with my husband 

because we are a 2-some and a team.

As a newlywed, learning to compromise my wants has definitely been challenging but i am learning, 

as the months pass by, it gets easier to make decisions in a 2-some!

Marriage is definitely a give and take.

And that's one lesson i am learning...but you know what....

it's getting easier everyday!

Question of the Day:

What makes it difficult to be part of a two-some/team?

How are you learning to compromise?

LongLazySunday: Week 7

Amazing that we are heading into Week 7 of LonglazySunday...

it always surprises me how quickly time passes as we are living our lives.  

Definitely as time passes...it's so important to make memories 

all throughout the week which leads up to a montha and a year filled with memories!

Lately...i've been so very sentimental...do you ever get that way?

Here is what i've been up to today...

1. We attended Church early because Mr. Pancakes was the Worship Leader which was exciting...

he did an excellent job leading the congregation in today's service...he is so awesome.

2. After Church, we went to visit Granny...we attempted to make smoothies.  

We watched her "man" Joel Olsteen on television. 

 And then watched a tribute for Whitney Houston.  

And then she shared with me how her friend who had just turned 100 years-old recently passed away.  

Granny and her buddies are so blessed to have health and wellness.

3. On the way to the Nursing home, i took some pictures of the flowers that have been blooming all throughout the winter.  Nature is just amazing.

4. Then i ran some errands to the CVS and attempted not to 

buy anything other than what i went there for...

5. Went and got my eyebrows done..it's been forever...i really needed to get cleaned up.

6. Then i did the unthinkable...i had a sandwich from KFC...oh the shame! 

Sheeee...don't tell Mr. Pancakes!!!

  

7. Since Mr. Pancakes is working until 6pm...I am currently watching Ever After: A Cinderella Story. 

And i hope to watch Love and Other Drugs...wash my hair 

and make the rest of my day a lazy Sunday.

Hope your Sunday is spent being long & lazy!!

Go ahead...grab the button and share your longlazysunday moments!!

Simply Whitney...

I remember when i was younger, every Saturday morning, 

i would listen to Whitney Houston while completing my Saturday morning chores.  

Pretending to sing like her would allow me to finish my cleaning faster than usual.  

It made the hard chore easy, fast, breezy and a whole lot of fun!

Via

Many of us grew up listening to Whitney 

and have some amazing memories with her music that are warm and great.  

I will definitely MISS her spirit for music. 

 I remember when The Bodyguard came out, 

i knew every single word of every single song on that album.  

And the first time i heard "I Will Always Love You," 

my cousin and i would sing it like we knew something about LOVE and LOVING and losing someone.  

We definitely had a lot to learn about love but through her songs, we felt like we connected.  

None of us knew her personally but she allowed us to know her

 through her music and for this i appreciate her.

Via

What i am learning about her unfateful loss is that 

if we do not take care of our God-given talents and abuse it, 

it can and it will be taken away from us!

Addiction of any kind is real..and we must take care of it.

I am wishing her daughter, Bobbi-Kristina, nothing but God's protective arms all through her life.

I wish her family comfort always.

I wish that Whitney's soul, spirit and voice is at rest 

and that she will sing purer, louder and better than ever!

Via

Whitney Houston

1963-2012

We Will Always Love You!

Inspires Me Series: Erica Diamond

When i came across Erica Diamond's twitter account, i was completely intrigued to go to her website and then i was inspired to reach out to her for the Inspire Me Series.   She is an award winning Entrepreneur and Business Woman.   She is an author, speaker, radio correspondent, writer and she exudes inspiration and i am so honored to have had the opportunity to speak with her.  Erica is definitely one lady you have to watch out for, she is already a big personality and going to become BIGGER very soon!  
She graciously agreed to complete this phone interview with me while 
she was waiting to pick up her children from school. 

I had to paraphrase her for this interview because i was all over the place while writing with pen and paper. 

Whats your name? 

Erica Diamond

Where can we find you online?

 www.womenonthefence.com

http://twitter.com/womenonthefence

How and when did the idea for Women on the Fence develop? 

At age 24, She started a very successful entreprenuer business which become very successful within seven years.  During this time, she had one baby and another on the way.  She started to struggle with being a successful business owner and motherhood.  It was within this time, she decided to sell her business.  From 2006 to 2009, she stayed home and it was within this time she met another lady who introduced her to the world of blogging.  The concept to create change and make change in people's lives...

she realized she was "on the fence" about what she wanted to to do.  

If she was going through this then other women must be going through the same too.  

What is Women on the Fence?

In September 2009, she started to get an itch to do something different.

She wanted to inspire herself and other women to get off the fence.  

She believes people are constantly working through many different areas in their lives

 including jobs, marriages, motherhood.  

She wanted a community where women of diversity could come together and learn from one another.

resonated wtih business and wih

Do you Consider Yourself a Blogger?

She definitely considers herself a blogger and appeared excited to have been introduced to the world of blogging.  She believes there are so many wonderful individuals and networks which can be developed through blogging.

Are you living your dream?

She reports she is living her most "passionate existence."  At 24 years old, she wanted all the awards.  

However, she realized years later she did not want a corner office, she wanted to "manage herself."  She wanted to "monetize herself" and wanted to make her life all about the children.

What inspires You?

                                                    She reported her two boys, 8 and 5, inspire her.

She said children are always learning and improving which in itself inspires.

Watching people do what they love and are successful.  Individuals like J.K Rowling 

who wrote, Harry Potter, a work she was passionate about and believed in it so much.

What's Your favorite Interview?

She responded wtih she loves all the individuals she has interviewed.  However, if she had to choose, Mariel Hemingway, actress and the granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway.  She was intrigued by her family, dark moments in her life and how she has embraced her lifestyle.

Erica has also enjoyed interviewing the Housewives of New York.

She also had fun speaking with Holly Robinson Peete about her career, motherhood and autism foundation.  

What are some of the challenges of blogging? 

Sometimes not having ideas to blog about.  If she doesn't have any ideas, she doesn't write.  

However, usually she is good at generating ideas and content for her website.  She shared she is a "social media junkie" since it's a great way to stay connected.

What does your husband think about what you do? 

Erica reported her husband is involved in a family business.  

He is involved in the commercial industry.

He is very supported of her and her current endeavors.

How do you make connections outside of the blogging world?

Erica reports you are not going to be successful in the blogging world

 if you are sitting behind the desk/computer screen. 

It's important to talk to people, be open.  

She spoke about the synergy which occurs when bloggers come together.  

She attended the Oprah Winfrey Conference in October 2011 which was "game changing."

How do you brand yourself? 

Erica spoke about the challenges that comes with branding youself.  However, she has been lucky because she does many things well.  She is not only a mommy blogger, she is a business blogger.  

She does not want to be "boxed in."  She wants to use Women on the Fence as a plateform to speak 

about all issues and share women's inspiration and sucesses.

She believes people have tried to brand her (box her in) depending on who is spotlighting her. 

However, Erica believes it's difficult to blog her because she is her!

How would you encourage other bloggers?

Everything has a time in which it happens.  It's important to find balance in various areas of our lives including mommyhood/business.  It takes a lot of work however it's significant to have boundaries and give everything proper attention.  Erica is a strong proponent of self-care including going to the gym and getting manicures.  She reminded us "not to ignore yourself" and "not to feel guilty to spend time with friends...regroup."

Do you like pancakes?

Erica said she loves pancakes!

What would you do on a longlazysunday?

Erica reported she would sleep in! The grandparents would take the kids and go for a massage.

  Sit on the beach, read books and the newspaper and do nothing.  

She would drink wine and enjoy silence and quiet with her husband.

Can you tell us about your book?

The book is entitled: 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before...Starting their Own Business. 

She believes all women are entrepreneurs and wanted to create a "coach in a pocket" for women starting their own business.  There are tricks, suggestions and ideas she has used herself.    

What advice do you have someone who may be on the fence?

"Always try to live in the moment...when i move out..i get anxious."
Erican reminds us it takes years to become sucessful.
 The harder you work the luckier you get.
Family is #1 over everything.  It is difficult to do anything without support.
 It's important to thrive for great support system

Where do you hope to see Women On The Fence?
Erica reported she has conquered online, has a radio show and written a book.
 She would love to see Women on the Fence on television.
Create your own luck in life.  

http://womenonthefence.com/about/