Sunday, September 19, 2010

Where's the Groom's Mama?

The other night, we were talking and working on our wedding guest list and something came up which i am curious to ask if other people have ever dealt with this.  Mr. Pancakes was raised primarily by Pops Pancakes (who i love and i am excited about becoming his future daughter-in-law).  His parents divorced when he was fairly young.  Needless to say, he was raised by his father however is close to his mother and they have their own close relationship.  His mother has been dating a certain gentleman for many many years that he has never liked and never will and has decided not to add him to the wedding list.  He is open to inviting him to the wedding ceremony (my suggestion!) however he refuses to invite him to the reception.  He is pretty sure that if he tells his mother this, then she will definitely make a choice not to attend our wedding.  Of course i do not believe she will actually miss her baby boy's wedding because her partner is not.  However, Mr. Pancakes insists this is what will happen and he knows his family much better than i do.  The thought that his mother may not attend our wedding makes me terribly sad.   I think of all the various moments they will miss including the mother/groom dance.  I believe Mr. Pancakes has to do what he feels is right for him and i will support his decision but HAS ANYONE EXPERIENCED THIS OR SOMETHING SIMILAR?

5 comments:

K. Elizabeth @ YUMMommy said...

Yes, I pushed my fiance into rekindling a relationship with his mother who abondoned him at a young age and was never a part of his life and it back fired. He kept telling me that things would get messy and they did. So, I've learned that when it comes to inlaws, he knows his family better than I ever will.

Redbabe said...

Invite everybody! The pops, the mama and mama's partner. They are full grown adults. I am sure they know how to handle their own emotion. Afterall it is the wedding of both of you. It is your PARTY. I am sure they are mature enough to set their priority rights :)

Good luck and dont worry too much :)

Mayra said...

I went through something similar for my baby shower. I did not invite the person I didn't want to because there was just a bad history althpugh she was a distant cousin.
I think your fiance (Congrats by the way!!) should at least try to ask his mom to come without her partner and explain that how much it will mean. I, too don't think she will want to miss the wedding but I've seen too much to be so sure. It's worth a try, and eventually everything will turn out perfectly!!

K. Elizabeth @ YUMMommy said...

I gave you a blog award!!

Mrs. Pancakes said...

Thanks Ladies..i appreciate all the suggestions..i will keep you posted. Hey, YUMMama, thanks hon!