Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Living our Vows: Jenni & Matthew




Many of you know this lovely couple in blogland and i was overly excited when Jenni agreed to participate in the series.  She is a wonderful writer, amazing blogger and a fantastic wife so i knew she would have a lot of nuggets of wisdom to share.  And i hope you take away some of her nuggets in helping you to live your vows.

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Hey you guys! Pleasure to be here chatting with you today. :) 
 My name is Jenni from the blog Story of My Life
and I'm going to talk to you a little about the "for better or for worse" part of my marriage vows.

Over at my blog, I tend to paint a sunny picture of my life most of the time because a) I really and truly AM happy, but also b) most often it's innapropriate to air out your dirty laundry on the Internet (or what otherwise might just be private, between you and you husband).

I often hear people complain that some bloggers aren't "real" and are a little too positive, and in some cases I agree, but I also think that it's important we all understand that NO ONE'S life is perfect.  Even those whose lives seem  perfect.  There is always stuff going on behind the scenes that would just be plain innapropriate to share on a blog!  Or even if someone's life really IS perfectly happy and rosy now, it won't always be that way.  In life there are seasons, and some are simply much more pleasant than others.

My husband, Matthew, and my story started out like a fairytale, and in my mind it always will be. (Read our whole love story here if you're interested!)  But over the past nearly two years since we've been married, a ton has changed in our lives.  Matthew has decided to take an entirely new career direction after a bunch of crap went down with his job, and so now he is in law school.

Between the challenges law school brings, financial issues we didn't used to have, and some other really big life stuff going on, things went from better to worse FAST.  We have to laugh about it now, because life is just unpredictable and crazy and has a way of teaching you what is most important. 

But I like to always remind people, especially other married folks or people about to be married, that some times will, inevitably, be better than others.  If you run into a rough patch when things aren't as blissful as they once were, suck it up and love each other through it and take your vows seriously.  Because life isn't always blissful, and when you commit your life to someone else, you agree to be with them through thick and thin. :)

Thanks so much for having me "Mrs. Pancakes!"  :)


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Thank you Jenni for your honesty and also for reminding us that no matter how perfect our fairytale begins, there are going to come moments in our story that is not so fairytale-ish!  However, your story reveals that living our vows means living through thick and thin!


Question of the Day:
How do you as a couple deal with marriage when the fairytale ends and life begins?

26 comments:

Chloe Deverill said...

Such a good post :)
We deal with marriage as a team, and best friends. We got married last year, and our fairytale ended pretty soon with financial problems and other things... but we're not alone, we have each other to face any obstacle. We're a team. And that's enough.

Chloe
http://mynewlifeasahousewife.blogspot.com

~Style Bot~ said...

Very interesting read! Thanks for sharing your insight. Being a military spouse, there are monkey wrenches thrown in the mix of our marriage constantly, i.e. we got permanent change of station orders that had us moving across the country during the last week of my graduate program O_o. I just posed a question to my friends asking what they felt about the "7 year itch" in regards to relationships (since my husband and I will be celebrating our 7th marriage anniversary this month). Our relationship still feels fresh and new, yet seasoned at the same time. I think the key to weathering the "or worst" part is maintaining a BIG picture approach. How does the financial woes or in my case deployments really stack up in the grand scheme of things? Like Luther Vandross said "I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart". That soooo sums it up for me! P.s. Ummm, novel much? Sorry. =o(

With Class & Sass,
~Khalilah~

Teresa said...

they look like a magazine couple.. what she says is so true and i can't wait to live it myself! my boyfriend and I have 4 years together and we are thinking of marrying soon.. that's why i need to read more about this matter :)

thanks for sharing and her blog is too cute!

kisses,
teresa
www.trend-ish.com

THE ALTERNATIVE WIFE said...

J & I have been together so long that now I know that the downs are only temporary and we often float back into that fairytale state. It's nice to know that when things aren't going so well that it doesn't mean that it'll be that way forever.

Lauryn said...

I love the subject of how marriage changes after the wedding, and encouraging newlywed couples to prepare for the challenges and changes that come with being married. Even the best of relationships must go through a rollercoaster of changes throughout their life together. I guess that's why it's important to find a partner who you know will stick by your side.

Also, the photo of Jenni and Matthew is stunning. Heading over to read more about them now!

Kirsten- The Foreign Domestic said...

I love that reminder that things won't always be perfect but we have to "suck it up...and take your vows seriously." So beautiful!

Mrs. Robinson said...

As always, I enjoyed reading this. I love, love this series you've been doing - but you already knew that. :) I've just opened her blog & will explore around it a little more in a bit.

To answer your question, we pray. Mr. Robinson hates his job. Between the two of us, we stay very busy and sometimes it feels like we don't have time to get anything done. Real life can get tough, and for us...praying really helps because it allows us to come to God together while reminding us that HE has a perfect plan in the works for us and we just have to hold on.

Our Delightful Home said...

Jenni, Thank you for sharing & Thank you Mrs. Pancakes for another amazing feature.

~Mrs. Delighful
ourdelightfulhome.blogspot.com

Carolyn said...

I love this feature! :) So cool!

I completely agree with what she's saying! The true test of a marriage isn't how much fun you can have, it's how well you handle the not so fun stuff! So true!!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Such a great post about what really happens in marriage.

I need to remember to get my post in about this!

Chichi said...

Communication is the answer. Being honest and open with each other.

Our first year was TOUGH but once we realised that we DID love each, we wanted it to work and we weren't going anywhere, it puts a whole new perspective on things.

Hilliary@ Happily Ever Healthy said...

Thank you for sharing!

Sunshine Blossoms said...

I love Jenni and her blog. I think she is very real, without being TOO open about her life... everyone needs to have their privacy, and it seems like sometimes readers expect bloggers to be all out in the open.
She is totally right -- expect that life (and marriage-even the best ones) won't always be awesome, but stick with it and CHOOSE to love each other through it.
My husband and I are still learning... When real life hits, we don't always do things right and sometimes we end up behaving as if we're on opposing teams. But we're getting better. We always stick together though... we're not in this marriage thing just for the good parts! Too many people today are.

Amber said...

I think this might be my very favorite guest post yet!!
Truth, honesty, and the real deal that life isn't always perfect, marriage isn't always perfect but that being together and getting through it together is the perfect part.
I am definitely off to check out your blog Jenni!!

Thanks for this series Mrs. Pancakes... I'm not married but I love hearing everyone's stories!

Elle Sees said...

Marriage is about sticking through the rotten and the bliss.
So many forget that.

Bring Pretty Back said...

After 23 years of marriage and many many many life changes and challenges...
I agree.
Have a pretty day!
Kristin

Tamra said...

Great post! Thank you so much for sharing and thank you to Jenni for your sincerity and honesty. I've been married for over and year, and embrace everything that comes with it, grow stronger with challenges and try to laugh. xoxo

Sophia Chang said...

I have ALWAYS felt that everyone is pressured to be way positive online. Someone once called my blog a happy place - in real life I went "Ha! You should see me in person!"

Like Jenni, I'm generally happy and I laugh a ton, but I also cry a ton and yell and scream and grow despondent.

As for your question - that honeymoon phase lasts like the first 2 weeks of dating then it all goes to hell really fast. And it sucks for like a year or two, but then it gets better and it only grows better every day.

Alida said...

Living out the for better or for worse is part of real life. It's so great to see couples stick it out!!

Emily w/Amazing Grapes said...

Jenni is so great. This is so true in all relationships and I agree completely with her that we shouldn't air out dirty laundry and blurt out our frustrations about our spouses/boyfriends for all to read and hear.

Vows are meant to be taken seriously and its nice to read someone who's committed to them during the difficult, less fairytale times in their marriage.

Wishing them the best during his law school days. :)
Emily at Amazing Grapes

Jenna@The Life of the Wife said...

I love me some Jenni! :) She's such a great writer! When the Fairytale ends that's when your "real" marriage begins! We just have to remind ourselves that life isn't always sunshine..and that we will have tough times for sure..but we always always have each other to lean on!

Jenna

Bravoe Runway said...

This is really the question that I always ask myself. If in the odd instance I did get married and things went down the drain what would I think? Sadly, I would regret giving up my single life yet I would still honour those vows that were taken. For better or for worse should never be taken lightly, if you look at the person's face and you cannot see yourself suffering with him for any reason, then it's not the right person.

Faith said...

loved reading this one ... Jenni and Matthew are an incredible couple!

Sara said...

I love this feature! Beautiful idea and great post :-) I think that marriage vows should account for the worse and the worser. Better is the easy part.... Today we see too many couples leaving when it gets "hard" or isn't fun anymore. Anyone can do "better" but the reminders of promise and commitment we made for a lifetime need to come to us when we're feeling not our very best. For me, "worse" doesn't conjure up ideas of me vs him... the vow is restored every time I think about never having to go through all of life's worst alone.

Ms. Geek Goddess said...

Nice! Love the wedding pic of them! So pretty! :)

toi said...

I love reading your "living our vows" series. i believe the honeymoon phase can last as long as both want the same thing. marriage is working together as a team.

i love jenni, she is such a genuine person. glad she stopped by :)