Thursday, March 8, 2012

52 Weeks of Love : Danielle & Jonathan

This is perhaps one of the most creative 52 Weeks of Love post ever...
read below to see why!
Thank you Danielle for participating and sharing how you enjoyed your first year of marriage!
Take it away...


Well hey y’all! 
I’m Danielle from Happily Ever After!
Jonathan (he’s known as Big Jon in the blog world) and I were married on October 2, 2010!
 It was my FAVORITE day of my life!!!


We have been married a little over a year,
and I have learned a LOT about myself and the art of marriage over the past 14 months.
 I have heard many people say the first year is the most difficult,
but I really don’t consider the past year to be “difficult.” 
Sure, we had our ups and downs like anyone else, but we really enjoyed our first year of marriage.

 I was thrilled when Mrs. Pancakes asked me to share some of what I’ve learned as a newlywed,
but I went a little further and recruited Big Jon to share some if his insights too.
(He has a much tougher job than me- I’m definitely tougher to deal with. 
What can I say, women can be complicated.) 
So, here is some of our marital advice to other newlyweds
to help make the first year of marriage true marital bliss!! 

(P.S. The insights from Big Jon are in his own words….you’ll see why I love him so much!)

Danielle: Keep God first, and your spouse second
Those priorities sound so obvious and we hear them all the time, but I know it’s often a struggle to TRULY put this into practice (and we often don’t even realize we’re not doing it). Once you get married, you become ONE with your husband, which means he comes before your parents, family, work, kids, friends, etc. A lot of times our choices don’t reflect that.  Also, if we keep God first, that means we are submissive to our husbands (as He calls us to be in the Word). There is a negative connotation in today’s society to the word “submission,” but it’s actually a positive thing when you truly understand it in a Biblical sense. 
There’s definitely a freedom in understanding submission and God’s design for marriage. 
Women are not equipped to be the leader of the home, so when we try
to “wear the pants” it often leads to issues.

Big Jon: Learn to communicate. 
Yea, it sucks to have to “talk about your feelings,” 
but your wife needs to know what’s going on with you. 
Talk about your problems to keep the relationship healthy.

Danielle: Marriage takes lots of preparation and work
We talked about and agreed on how to handle many of life’s issues…..finances, children,
 how we wanted to raise them, how holidays would be spent, household chores, sex, etc. 
Now I’m not saying we have specific ideas for each of these things and stick to them like glue,
but it IS important to be on the same page as your spouse (preferably before you get married)
concerning the big stuff.  There are going to be many little things in life you disagree about,
so the “big issues” should be dealt with and agreed upon early.

Big Jon: Making your marriage work takes compromise. 
Your life isn’t only about you anymore and making yourself happy. 
It’s about being a man and taking care of your family. 
Sometimes that takes sacrifice.


Danielle: Choose your words wisely
You married this person with the intentions of spending the rest of your life with them,
so treat them that way. 
You can’t take away the things you’ve said in the past,
so make sure everything you say in the present and future
 is not something you will regret down the road. 
Also, be very careful with whom you vent to about your spouse. 
It is healthy to have someone to talk to,
but make sure it’s someone whose opinion won’t change about him and won’t judge him. 
(Parents have a tough time forgetting and forgiving when someone has done something to hurt their child.)  Also, avoid spouse bashing. 
Women tend to be notorious for this….
getting together and complaining about all the things their hubbies do wrong or don’t do right. 
STAY AWAY, and speak edifying words to and about your husband.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”- Ephesians 4:29

Big Jon: Choose your battles. 
Most things are not worth arguing about. 
Your wife will be right 99% of the time anyway (at least mine is).

Danielle: Take care of yourself!! 
It’s not okay to “let yourself go” once you get married. 
You should do the same things you did when y’all were dating. 
Work out, eat healthy, dress nice, fix your hair, put on makeup, leave him sweet notes, cook his favorite meal, tell him what you love about him, and speak highly of him to others. 
You should never stop trying to impress your man. 
And vice versa. I think that helps keep the “magic” alive and keeps you from getting bored. 
There’s often resentment when one spouse totally changes after getting married, and rightfully so.
 Be the husband/wife your spouse fell in love with!!

Big Jon: Appreciate her and let her know how much you do.  
Small things, big things, all things…It’s important to not let the things she does go unnoticed.  
Tell her she looks pretty, that she’s a great cook, that you think she’s smart, or that you love when she texts you while she’s at work. It means a lot to her for you to notice that kind of stuff.

Well, I hope you enjoyed our little post and took away a little something useful. 
Marriage is truly life’s greatest blessing and such a precious gift from the Lord. 
It’s so sad to see what our society has turned marriage into,
 but I believe this generation of newlyweds can change that and get back to the foundations of marriage.

Swing by and see us at Happily Ever After sometime…..
we just love visitors and would love to show you some of our southern hospitality!! 
You can also feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you have any questions about anything we’ve talked about here…
May the Lord bless you in your marriage….
and may you live HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!
“And the greatest of these is LOVE.” –1 Corinthians 13:13


J and A said...

Such a great photos! :) Stunning! Love her blog.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I'm glad they've got so much figured out already, and I totally agree about choosing your battles!

Newlymeds said...

Beautiful post and beautiful pictures! Great series Mrs. P!

Alexa said...

Aren't they adorable? :) And love her blog

Bravoe Runway said...

What a lovely couple and their wedding cake was gorgeous!

*Butler, Party of 2* said...

Thank you for letting us share!! I had so much fun writing this post with Big Jon! :) Loving this series....thanks for hosting!