Monday, April 30, 2012

Marriage Humor...



                  Good Monday Morning Ladies...
It's the last day of April...i cannot believe it!
I thought we would end the month off with some humor.
Usually i hate those chain mails friends send my way 
BUT i loved the ones i received recently about marriage.
Marriage is just funny sometimes!  
They were soo funny so i thought i would share them with you!  

Wife:         'What are you doing?'
Husband:     Nothing.Wife:         'Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage   certificate  for an hour.'
Husband: 
  'I was looking for an expiration date.'
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Wife :         'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 
    'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife:        'Yes or no.'
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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife:   'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
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Stress Reliever Girl:    'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 
    'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 
    'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'--------------------------------------------------- Son:      'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 
  'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 
    'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' 
----------------------------------------------------
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married  
me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'   
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you,
NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
-----------------------------------------   
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:   'I like your sense of humour!' 

Husbands are husbands 
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the 
 head  with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'.
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied:  'Your Horse phoned'

15 comments:

kita said...

Lol Loved the last one his horse I have heard some weird stories though. Happy Monday

Vanisha @ Vanishas Life In...Australia said...

I've just been laughing and laughing! What a great way to end a Monday (it's 10pm here!) I loved the stress reliever girl one ;)

THE ALTERNATIVE WIFE said...

Haha totally gave me a laugh. What a great way to start the week. Happy Monday, sweetie! xoxo

Teresha@Marlie and Me said...

LOL! I love starting the day laughing. thanks!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Haha those are awesome!

Jasmine of ❤AdamAlexMommy❤ said...

time flies... can't believe tomorrow is may already! i really enjoyed and laughed reading this post. :) i just realized that you are preggers, congrats!! :)

have a great day!!


xoxo
jasmine
AdamAlexMommy

Heather said...

LOL! Thanks for the Monday laugh!

Rose's Daughter said...

LOL! I love the one about dinner! I said something to that effect last night!!

Rod and Alex - aka: "Rolex" said...

Hahahaha! Nothing like a little marriage humor on Monday! :)

Rebekah said...

Haha, these are so funny!

Lauren said...

love these! I needed a laugh today!

Alexa said...

HA! Perfect way to end the day!

A Haute Mommy said...

Lol this was too funny. I must copy this and share.

Tiffany said...

I love these... can't decide which is my favorite!

Cam | Bibs & Baubles said...

love these!!! hilarious!