Saturday, November 20, 2010

Lose some to win some!

I am really thankful to all the bloggers who continue to give me advice and suggestions to all my meanderings including my rants and raves! Sometimes it is not everything you want to share with friends so it's definitely been helpful to blog about issues that are going on in my life with Mr. Pancakes. The last post was very difficult for me because it was a very personal conversation but I am glad i did because I was able to get a lot of great feedback! The advice that stuck with me was you have to lose some to win some because this is so true! Most of the time I am trying to win the argument all the time so the idea that sometimes I should intentionally lose an argument to win is completely foreign! But it's brilliant because i before we get married I definitely need to learn this art of communication. I believe I have done this but perhaps not intentionally so it's really on now. In marriage there are going to be many Grown-up conversations hence this conversation was needed so that I can learn this art of argument. One of the great things about the pre-marriage is getting to know one another and then I guess post-marriage, there is more getting to know one another! My big sister once told me that marriage is all about learning about each other everyday. I thought that Mr. Pancakes and I were ALL good in the communication department but we've just started I suppose! Again thanks fellow bloggers for the ideas and suggestions.


Alida said...

I agree with your big sister... I have been married to my best friend for almost 29 years and we keep learning new things about each other all the time. Blessings on you and Mr. Pancake!

Mimi said...

I have been married 5 years and communication is so the key. But the beauty of marriage is you will always grow and change and things will always need to be reevaluated and communication is one of those things. The major thing I have found that works is to never blow up. if you need to take a minute, edit your thoughts and revisit the issue when you both are ready to discuss in a productive manner. This suggestion won't always work, because sometimes yelling is just good for the soul but keep that to a minimum! Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

Glad that you put your situation out there and that you were able to garner a few nuggets of wisdom from other. Great comments on that post and this one. Communication is definitely. I had to get past the, "I'll show him" or "I know I'm right, so let me convince him" phase to really allow our marriage to grow. Once I realized that I wanted to make it to the next day/month/year and not just "win" the point in that discussion, we've been so much better. Good luck at finding your rhythm.