I thought long and hard about how I wanted to word today's post because it's going to be different from the ones you're used to reading. Today I'll be talking about two different vows - for better and for worse as well as to love and to cherish. And I'm going to tell you what happens when someone stops following through with their vows.
I met my ex-husband during the summer of 2004 and from the moment we met I was taken.
He was FUNNY and he made me laugh all the time.
After a year of being friends we finally started dating.
And 3 years after that in the fall of 2008 we were married.
On my blog and in a lot of my life I acted like my ex, Dustin, and I had a wonderful relationship.
I had so many people say to me, "Wow, you two are just so perfect together.
You're the perfect couple." Everytime I heard that it stung because I knew it my heart that was so far from the truth. Dustin and I hid it though, from everyone including ourselves.
In 2010 I lost my job and was without one for 6 months. It was HARD.
We had a lot of money problems and though we got through it I felt
as though that was the beginning of the end.
The "for worse" part slowly and quietly pulled us apart.
I hate to say this because I don't want to place blame but Dustin lied to me, and he lied often.
Our money problems would not have been nearly so bad had he been truthful with me and although he lied because he was scared I have always felt as if the "for worse" part got the best of him.
Although we got through the financial problems and I did find a new job there was then this huge elephant in the room. Dustin broke my trust and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't 100% trust him again.
And so I pulled away. The love started to fade because the trust faded.
We both knew something was wrong but neither of us would admit it.
The love we once had just wasn't there anymore.
And as the spring of 2011 wore on we both started to realize that something had changed in our relationship.
We separated. And soon decided that there wasn't a way to fix things.
Marriage is a two way street. If both partners aren't willing to put in the work there are going to be cracks.
If both people aren't working all the vows the marriage can crumble.
It isn't anyone's fault, just something that both people need to be conscious of.
My advice to all of you is this: when you're writing your vows (or deciding on traditional vows) and entering into a marriage, be sure you really know what they mean. Falling in love and planning a wedding can be such a fairy tail but you have to understand that ANYTHING can happen in life, good and bad.
Remember this as you're planning to spend the rest of your life with someone.
Thank you so much to Mrs. Pancakes for letting me share this.
It's my hope that others can learn from my mistakes... and that I can as well.