I was reading an article and this was the first few sentences:
Having diabetes and being an older mother pose
multiple health risks for both Halle Berry and her unborn child,
but the latest advances in testing and medical care will
go a long way to guard against problems, experts say.
Which got me thinking: When it is too late to carry a baby?
For some background...Halle is 46 and probably in awesome physical shape.
She had her first child when she was 41.
Clearly our bodies can do anything but is there ever a time when it should be too late?
Especially when there are potential risks to the mother and baby?
Should age even be considered when you are trying to get pregnant?
And is she giving false hope to many older women who want to become mothers?
And what about when the babies grow up and mom is much older?
Or should any of this even matter when we are considering motherhood?
I am the product of a much older parent and i think there
are a few things i might have missed out because of this.
Many questions I know but I have been thinking about all these questions
and thought it would make for a fun discussion....so please join in....
11 comments:
I am a product of older parents also. I was brought up the old school way and it serves me well in some situations but not in others. I had my kids young so its different but I still have old school ways. I say if you healthy have kids at any age you just need to think long term and how old you will be when they hit high school. You don't want to be 70 chasing after high school students.
I don't age matters. Moms in their twenties are dying everyday. I personally believe that kids are a gift from God. Not to mention most women mentioned in the Bible conceived at the age of 30 and beyond.
Medicine has come a long way and if their is a chance for you to deliver a healthy baby and you are an older woman, I say go for it!
I personally started out "older" than what society will consider the norm. I got pregnant at 34 and waiting was by choice for me. However, if I knew then what I know now, I likely would have done it a little earlier so as to give myself time to space them out.
I don't know if there should be an age limitation on getting pregnant. I think each situation is different. I mean, what if someone is God-fearing and doesn't want to have a baby until they are married and they don't meet their partner until well into their 30s or 40s? Does that mean they shouldn't try? I am a firm believer of God's words and it says "be fruitful and multiply". Not "multiply if you are under 40".
This is turning into a long response so I'll stop here :-).
I think she IS giving false hope to older women, because more than likely she used donor eggs as have most of the celebrities who are older and having babies, but they just don't admit it. It's her right to not disclose, but going out of her way to say it was a surprise and all that makes it seem like it can happen without intervention at that age and that is just not true and perpetuates the myth that women can wait into late 40s (heck for some late 30s is too late!) and get pregnant with no help. I donated eggs to a woman who was 46 and just turned 47, their baby is 14 months. She said it is hard and she is very tired trying to keep up with their baby. This is because of her age (her words) for that reason she wouldn't want another child. I don't anyone should be able to tell another person that they can have children at any age, but I would worry if they were very old and didn't have the means to provide for the child, Halle doesn't have that problem and hopefully she is around well into her kids teens and beyond..
I happen to think celebrities (and the wealthy) are an exception. Money can't buy happiness but it can buy a whole heck of a lot of other things. Anyhoo... Celebrities excluded I don't think anyone has the right to determine an age restriction for child bearing however I hope it is a serious conversation that someone has with his/her healthcare provider as it is not just the mom who is affected. I know someone who purposely waited until she was in her 40's to have a baby and sadly passed away when her daughter was 7. This could happen to anyone at any age but the little girl's remaining care givers was her elderly grandparents. Of course there is more to the story about why the father is absent but my point is it's not just the mom involved- all parties should be considered most importantly the child's.
I believe Halle Berry when she said she conceived naturally. And I hope to have the same luck. I will be 39 years old next week, and will be getting married next year. I wanted to wait until I was married to have kids. If I could write my story, I wouldn't have waited this long, but I didn't want to have a baby out of wedlock either. I worry about what it will take being a mother at that age, but I trust God and know He will see me through whatever my future holds. I wish any woman the best of luck at motherhood, whenever that may be in her life.
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To me it's only too late if you've hit menopause.
Some women are lucky to meet "the one" early on and so are able to start their families early, but others are not so lucky. I think that as long as you are closely following medical advice, it should be okay. I am also the product of older parents and I think they were better parents because not only were they more secure financially, they were also sure of who they were and what they wanted.
I think it's completely situation dependent. I personally think that it's nobody's business when someone chooses to have kids as long as they can take care of them.
Now people live a lot longer nowadays. Halle is 46 which is not even that old by any stretch. Plus she looks damn good, probably takes great care of herself. She also has the finances to take care of children at this stage with nannys and all.
When I think about it, my grandma had 12 kids and her last baby was at 42. She was just going with the natural way of life. Sorry for writing a book
If her doctor has cleared her for a safe delivery, I see no problem for her. I personally wouldn't want to have a child that late in life but I refuse to critique another woman who obviously adores being a mom......and is more healthy than most young women!
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