Living Our Vows: Nicole & Mr. P

When looking at the vow, I can honestly say that we've been through all of these situations...for better-for worse, for richer-for poorer, in sickness and in health, and to love and to cherish. It's hard to pick any one over the other, but for me I would have to say to love and to cherish is the one that I'd like to focus on some that are applicable to our marriage.

First off, my husband P. and I have been married for over 3 years. 

We were married on August 30, 2008 in Hamilton, Montana 

and currently reside on his family's farm and ranch near Culbertson, Montana.

To love and to cherish...I find this probably the most important vow of all of them 

(not saying that the others are less important, but this is the one that speaks most to me).

 Let me start at the beginning...Two months after we were married, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer; a month after that, my grandpa with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. 

We lived in Idaho when we got married, and the opportunity came for us to move back to Montana the February after we were married. Problem is, we didn't have a place to live right away, so we lived with my in-laws. We were only supposed to be there for about a month and a half...

that turned into FIVE months. FIVE. AS NEWLYWEDS. Boy, was that ever hard. 

Talk about for better or for worse...these were some of the hardest times, 

but oddly enough, found that it was easier to go through these things as a couple.

 Now, focusing on to love and to cherish...

I can honestly say that this is the most important part for me to remember in my marriage. 

I always love my husband-always.

 Do I like him sometimes? Nope! I make sure he knows that difference. 

If I'm upset, I always tell him, "Honey, I always love you, but I may not like you right at this moment."

 That might seem a bit harsh to some of you, and you possibly might not be able to imagine ever saying those things yourself, and that's ok. If there's one thing I've learned about marriage, is that everyone's is different.

To me, even in the hardest of times, you made these vows to this person and you have to uphold them. Remembering that helps me be the best wife that I can be.
You LOVE this person...why would you yell at them and treat them disrespectfully?
 As your spouse, they deserve to be treated with love and respect.
 Do I always want to pick his dirty underwear off of the bathroom floor?
No way! Is it worth it to get in a fight over? Absolutely not.
To me, carrying on daily conversations with a man who my husband doesn't know is inappropriate.
I respect my husband enough to not do that. You cherish this person, you love them.

Don't let your temper get the best of you-wait a little while,
calm down and have an adult conversation about it.
Just because you're in a long-term relationship with them
 doesn't mean you can treat them however you want.
You always need to keep in your mind that you both need
to respect your marriage-cherish it and each other.

No matter how hard things get (and believe me, if they haven't been hard yet, they will eventually!),
 just keep this in mind "to love and to cherish." Your marriage is a sacred, beautiful thing.
Treat it like such, and you will get the same back from it.
I hope you all enjoyed a little glimpse into my world, and thanks for listening! 

 Nicole Hackley, "Prairie Princess" www.deeretomyheart.blogspot.com

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Thank you Nicole for your thoughtful and insighful post on Living Our Vows!
It is so important to respect our vows and hence our spouses!

Living Our Vows: Krysten of Why Girls Are Weird...

I was totally glad Krysten agreed to participate in the Living Our Vows series!  

What happens when we are made to choose 

between living our vows and living our heart's happiness?

Krysten will share her experiences with us.  

She has one of the freshest and honest voices in blogland 

and if you haven't read any of her posts, why not?

Check out her blog as soon as you finish reading this post! 

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Hi all!  My name is Krysten and I blog at Why Girls Are Weird. 

I thought long and hard about how I wanted to word today's post because it's going to be different from the ones you're used to reading.  Today I'll be talking about two different vows - for better and for worse as well as to love and to cherish.  And I'm going to tell you what happens when someone stops following through with their vows.

I met my ex-husband during the summer of 2004 and from the moment we met I was taken. 

 He was FUNNY and he made me laugh all the time.  

After a year of being friends we finally started dating.  

And 3 years after that in the fall of 2008 we were married.

On my blog and in a lot of my life I acted like my ex, Dustin, and I had a wonderful relationship.  

I had so many people say to me, "Wow, you two are just so perfect together.  

You're the perfect couple."  Everytime I heard that it stung because I knew it my heart that was so far from the truth.  Dustin and I hid it though, from everyone including ourselves.

In 2010 I lost my job and was without one for 6 months.  It was HARD.  

We had a lot of money problems and though we got through it I felt 

as though that was the beginning of the end. 

The "for worse" part slowly and quietly pulled us apart. 

I hate to say this because I don't want to place blame but Dustin lied to me, and he lied often. 

Our money problems would not have been nearly so bad had he been truthful with me and although he lied because he was scared I have always felt as if the "for worse" part got the best of him.

Although we got through the financial problems and I did find a new job there was then this huge elephant in the room.  Dustin broke my trust and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't 100% trust him again.  

And so I pulled away.  The love started to fade because the trust faded.  

We both knew something was wrong but neither of us would admit it. 

The love we once had just wasn't there anymore.  

And as the spring of 2011 wore on we both started to realize that something had changed in our relationship.  

We separated. And soon decided that there wasn't a way to fix things.

Marriage is a two way street.  If both partners aren't willing to put in the work there are going to be cracks. 

If both people aren't working all the vows the marriage can crumble.  

It isn't anyone's fault, just something that both people need to be conscious of.

My advice to all of you is this: when you're writing your vows (or deciding on traditional vows) and entering into a marriage, be sure you really know what they mean.  Falling in love and planning a wedding can be such a fairy tail but you have to understand that ANYTHING can happen in life, good and bad.  

Remember this as you're planning to spend the rest of your life with someone.

Thank you so much to Mrs. Pancakes for letting me share this.  

It's my hope that others can learn from my mistakes... and that I can as well.

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Again, thank you Krysten for your honesty. 

I believe adding your voice to the Living Our Vows series will 

definitely enriched all of our experiences in how we view our relationships and marriages.

And thank you for reminding us to mean what we say when we are writing our vows.

Living Our Vows: Meg & Sean

How can you become your spouse's helpmate?

Meg will help answer this question through how her and her husband are living their vows.  

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Hi all! I'm Meg and I write Henning Love.
My husband and I have been married since July 17, 2010.
As we are approaching about 1.5 years of marriage,
I can tell you it has been no cake walk but there isn't anyone else
I would rather take that walk with each day.
I love Mrs. Pancakes' series about marriages vows.
With all the Hollywood news about who is divorcing who,
who is cheating on their spouse and how many days are marriages lasting,
 it is refreshing to have Mrs. Pancakes focus on what marriage is about,
saying those vows and sticking to them through the rough and tough, happiness and laughter.
Mrs. Pancakes asked me to select a part of our vows and focus on how I am living those out.

Source: goforwardwithfaith.blogspot.com via Cynthia on Pinterest

Part of my vows that I said to Sean are:  

As God has prepared me to be your helpmate and companion in life 

I commit myself to stand by you. 

The word, "help mate" was so important to me even before I met Sean.
It was so important to me before any relationship I would enter into with the intent of marriage.
I was designed by God to be a man's helpmate. It is Biblically-written as one of my duties as a wife: 

"Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; 
I will make him a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

How do I live out my vows with the purpose of being a helpmate and companion?

The first way I live out my vows is to know my husband's needs 
and wants and know how I can best fulfill those needs. 
For example, making his lunch every day.
Yes I do that and why do I do that?
Because it helps my husband out by providing him a nutritious lunch
and second because I know I am helping us to save money
because he is having to go out and spend money each day for lunch.
You know the saying a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, totally stands true in our household.

The second way I live out my vows to my husband of being his helpmate 
and companion is knowing when I have to let go of my frustrations and just be there for my husband. 
Let me paint you a scenario that occurred the other night.
 I was at home sick all day and I was feeling frustrated
because a week earlier my husband has promised he would write me two love notes.
Love notes written by him are a big deal for me and I was disappointed he has failed to do that.
I was still kinda in a bad mood  even when he came home.
As we sat upstairs on our bed, I was still stewing, he just asked me to hug him.
We sat in our bed in a hug and he started talking about his feelings
about his frustrations with being an interim head coach and not knowing
if God would provide him the opportunity to be the head coach drop the interim part.

Sitting there listening to him, I just knew I just had to let go of how I was feeling towards him and realize that he needed me more than I needed him in that moment.

Living out my vows to me is knowing when my husband
has a greater need from me then a need that I need fulfilled from him.
Our conversation continued in that he was worried
I would loose respect for him  if he was forced back to an assistant coach position,
and his worries he wouldn't be able to fully provide for his family.
Clearly his concerns are a lot heavier than my little wish for love notes.
 Living out my vows is putting myself aside and knowing
when it is important to do so and be that helpmate that God designed me to be for Sean.

The second half of those vows:
I commit myself to stand by you are the actions behind the first part of that sentence.
Standing by my husband means through good or bad,
and it is the standing part that can be the toughest.
In our case, standing by my husband means even if I don't like his job necessarily all the time,
I don't like the hours he puts in or the travel that is required.
I still have to stick it out.
I may fight, complain and belly-ache all I want about that
but truth be told I said those vows and I need to uphold them.

 I loved the vows we said at our wedding,
and it is because they aren't just words we were saying
but knowing that there will be meaning and action behind it.
Additionally,  that there is no other person except Sean who I will be a helpmate for
and he will receive my love regarding that aspect to the fullest extent that I can show him.

Marriage is not easy, not by any stretch of the imagination
but if you and your spouse are willing to follow the advice of the couple below,
you two can make it through anything.

Source: dearinspirationblog.blogspot.com via Rebecca on Pinterest

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Thank you Meg! 

And the triangle is just beautiful because when we put God above you and your spouse, 

there is nothing that a couple cannot achieve!

I appreciate your honest post about how you and hubby are living out your vows.  

And it's so important to be a helpmate to your husband and NOT look at it as being submissive.

Question of the Day:

How are you a helpmate to your husband?

boyfriend/partner?

Living our Vows: Alida & Tom

I came across Alida's blog when i was planning my wedding and i couldn't be any happier because during this period in my life...i wanted to meet and be around individuals that were living their vows the way i wanted to.   I have never met Alida however as soon as you begin reading her blog Blackpurl's Knitpickings...an expat's journal, you get to know the woman, the wife, the mother and the expat.  

I hope you learn from her as i continue to learn. 

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Thirty years ago

December 13, 1981.

At the wise old age of 18 we thought we knew it all...

how much we've learned since then.

We've seen that God's plans for us are far better than our dreams for us.

We've undergone growth and change individually that deepended our bong of unity.

We've experienced hurts deeper than expected.

We've been bleesed wtih joys greater than anticipated.

We've realized the immense riches of a life lived together.

Thirty years ago, we thought we loved each other.

Now, we know we do.

(side note: i LOVE this Alida! I will have to borrow this in thirty years)

The number one lesson I want to share about being in a long term relationship 

is that love is not a feeling... it is a decision.

 In my humble opinion 72 days of married life is not long enough to determine that a marriage is not going to work. Getting to “happily ever after” takes more than 3 and a half months. 

Seriously, I have spent longer than that searching for a well fitting pair of jeans. 

I think I have taken my jeans pursuit more seriously than Kim Kardashian did her marriage. 

Did she really do everything she could 

or did she simply make her decision based on her feelings?

Living in love is not about how you feel from day to day.

It is about deciding to honor your commitment, 

it is about facing the reality that marriage takes work.

 It is about both people being willing to do whatever it takes to stay together.

 I am not talking about compromising values or allowing yourself to be abused in any form. 

But about truly making an effort to have a successful thriving relationship.

Tom and I have reminisced about the for better or for worse vow we took. 

We have enjoyed times of 'better' and we are grateful for those occasions. 

We have also experienced the 'worse'. 

The short version of stressful events reads: 

two stillbirths and a miscarriage, deaths of family members, 

university, graduate school for Tom, raising kids, car accidents, 

moving across country, experiencing poverty, debt, remodeling a home, 

moving overseas with two teens and so on.

And we have lived to tell the tale.

Our parents did it too.

And our grandparents.

It can be done.

Two weeks into our marriage we had a huge fight. I don't remember what the fight was about. 

But, I do remember storming out and going 'home to mother'. 

My mother taught me about boundaries way before pop psychology or Dr. Phil came along. 

She had taken away my house key when I moved out so I had to ring the doorbell to get in. 

She came to the door and asked me what I wanted. 

Looking at her through the screen door, which she wouldn't even unlock, 

I started crying and said that we'd had a fight. She stared at me with an expressionless face. 

And then she uttered the most priceless words she has ever spoken to me. 

“You don't live here anymore...Go home and work it out.” “But, Mama!” I cried. 

She used the broken record technique on me...”You don't live here anymore. 

Go home and work it out!” I went home. We worked it out. 

And each time we came up against a hard place in our marriage 

we chose to work on the issue, sometimes with the help of a neutral third party, 

before it could devastate our relationship beyond repair. 

We believe that divorce is not an option...period.

It is so easy to get caught up in the wedding and forget that a marriage is going to follow.                                                         And a marriage is so much more important than a wedding.                                                                                                 

A wedding lasts just a few hours 

but marriage is meant to last a lifetime.

  

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It is an honor to know you Alida & Tom and your 30 years of marriage is definitely an inspiration to us all.

Thank you for sharing how you and Tom have lived and continue to live your vows on a daily basis.  
We all need to hear again and again  that love is not a feeling 
but a decision especially during the "worse" days.


Question of the Day:
Alida and Tom have been married for thirty years and that's 
such a wonderful testimony to living their vows! 
Whose the longest married couple you know? 
And how many years have they been married?

Living Our Vows: TOI & AMI

Valentine's Day is definitely a day of love and for lovers!
 I am thrilled to have TOI here today to share her story
about how they are living their vows.
If you read TOI's blog...you definitely love her beautiful way
of writing and sharing her rich life experiences.
 The couple have been together for twelve years and married seven years...
there is definitely a wealth of information she has!
Take is away TOI!

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Hello Mrs Pancakes loyalists, I am TOI @ Life of TOI [life is more than The Baby Plan].
TOI stands for my full name which I prefer to keep undercover, lol :).

I was beside myself when Mrs P asked me to participate in this wonderful series.
And today I am here to testify how in marriage it comes to a time when our vows are put to the test.
But when we put our trust in the Almighty things can turn out better than we can ever imagine.

Let me flashback, shall we?

A year ago today hubby and I were jobless, close to penny less,

afraid of infertility and living with my inlaws.

I was SO unhappy because I blamed myself for situation.

Why were we in such situation?

I need to go back to 2010 – am I annoying you with my flashbacking?

Please keep up with me…

Well, May 2010 hubby went for an interview for a position as a lecturer at a university close to his parents house, with the possibility to start working September 2010 in the United Kingdom.

At the same time his old supervisor offered him a position

as assistant professor in a new DIY department in Canada starting February 2011.

For the wanting of adventure I opted for Canada, he agreed because we were young

and we thought it was going to be nice experience.

A new year a new start. Oh, it felt like God was giving us a new blank page

which we could fill up with all the colours from the rainbow we wanted.

We made a plan.

I quit my job in November and hubby surprised me with a trip to Paris.

 In our perfect plan we were going to receive our visa max mid January. 

However we didn't receive our visa mid-January. 

February rolled in and no sign of visa. 

 I would hide in the bedroom and cry pouring my heart to God.

The hubby received an email requesting I go to London for an interview.

We were worried sick. I prayed to God that if they didn't want to

 give me the visa it was unfair that they were dragging AMI in the middle.

 I hated myself for it, but AMI never blamed me.

In fact he was the shoulders for me to cry on.

He started to see the positive side of the waiting.

On 14-02-2011 I woke up moody.

Who cares about San Valentine, I thought.

For better or for worse we were sticking together and forgetting about money and visa.

Plus we decided that pregnancy can wait.

We started to enjoy the little things.

Because the more we waited the more we realised that no matter what,

 our love is stronger than any obstacle.

In was in the waiting...we realized what living our vows was all about!

March rolled in with all it blessings.

We got our Visa and were able to move in no-time.

 The rest is history in the making in this new continent called Canada.

On this Valentine's Day, I reflect on what a difference a year can make.
Today we have a beautiful home, stable careers, supportive friends and family
and a gorgeous daughter to share it all with!
Living Our Vows continues to bring nothing but blessings!

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Thank you TOI for your beautiful testimony of for better or for worse....

and i love how special Valentine's Day has become to you and your family. 

What a blessing indeed!

Question of the Day:

How are you celebrating Valentine's Day today?

Living Our Vows: Latorsha & Hubby

Living Our Vows is definitely celebrating LOVE this month. 

If you remember from last week....this month,

we are celebrating couples who have been together 10 years and or more. 

Again, i am honored to have these amazing ladies share their stories and experiences with us. 

I know i am learning a lot and hopefully you are learning a lot too. 

Enjoy the lovely Latorsha as she shares with us how her and the hubby are living their vows!

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I am so flattered that Mrs. Pancakes offered me this great opportunity to be featured in the living our vows series. Before we get started I have to tell you I was concerned at first that I wouldn't live up to post expectations. And then the bulb went off!!

 I just gotta be me and tell it like it IS!

 Marriage - it's about give and take aka for better or for worse.

Marriage is full of joy and bliss! Kisses and hugs! AND some heartaches and pains.

Let me tell you what you don't want to hear first so I can end on a positive note.

That's how I like to do. For worse I thought having a second adult in the house would be ideal for keeping things neat and tidy. Nope. Two totally different definitions and priorities.

Some days when I see his dirty clothes laying on the floor beside the hamper I wanna take a lighter and burn them into flames. But I don't. Not yet anyway. Telling each other what to do. This can get really touchy.

I mean he ain't my daddy and I ain't his momma. Just because we live together and said “I do” doesn't mean I gotta do what he says do. Hmph! Where's the money honey? I don't know!!

 Last time I saw it, it was being sucked from our acct to pay some bank fees or some bills, I mean a latte and a treat. I mean I worked full time for years and supported the marriage. I deserve something! Right?

These are just a few examples of some our for worse moments.

Trust that there are others.

Sometimes I just wanna take a frying pan

make him do things MY WAY!

 For better My husband will go out of his way to get me something that I want.

Please note that I said want not need. For example for years I wanted a Coach bag but always felt like I couldn't spend that much on a large bag for myself. So one Christmas he traveled to the Coach outlet and bought me 2 of them! No matter how irritated we get with one another we always admit that we have to work through the problems cause ain't nobody else gonna take us in.

We laugh in adversity.

When our financial situation took a turn deep south,

we found joy in remembering we could survive on cereal, bread, beans, and water. 

Okay. I know. The for better moments sound kind of cheesy.

But I used these moments because the joy in the obvious moments wouldn't get my point across.

The point is you must know how to make a worse situation better.

Marriage ain't easy! But it is worth it.

For better or for worse you gotta stick with it and give it your best every day.

If I'd walked away during the first not so good days I never would have been blessed in so many ways. I wish I could list all the blessings here, but this post would go on forever. I'll just leave you with this thought, God will show favor over those who keep him first.

I am so thankful that God has continued to show favor over our marriage of nine years.    

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Latorsha, is the blogger of Life is Hard, Laugh Anyway, a place where she tries to remain optimistic by any means necessary, mostly laughter. She can be described as a southern girl, loves life, fun, dry humor, sometimes crazy, sometimes serious, fabulous 30 something, got my sexy back, wanna be diva, down to earth, keeping it real, momma don't play that, trying to stay positive.......and sometimes broke.

To learn more you can follow her on twitter at @AnOptimisticMom. You can check out her blog here or contact her at AnOptimisticMom@ gmail.com

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Thank you Lartosha for keeping it real as always...i so agree that Marriage ain't easy! But it is worth it!

It is definitely refreshing to meet a couple who are honest

and keep laughter in their marriage regardless of what the for better, for worse of life has to offer!

Question of the Day:

What helps you and your spouse (fiance, boyfriend)

to keep you going during the for worse parts of your relationships?

 

Living Our Vows: Nylse & Hubby

In celebration of February and Valentine's Day as love month, i wanted to guest feature bloggers who have been married for more than ten years.  I am truly blessed to know so many bloggers who have been living their vows through so many seasons.  I am learning so much from these couples and i hope throughout the month, you will be able to learn wonderful lessons from them. 

To begin the series, i have Nylse from Life...After Death of a Brother, to share with us some of the lessons she has learned within her twenty-two years of marriage.  

Share away Nylse!

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I got married young at 22, but I never felt young or as if I wasn’t ready. Practically, I was at the point of my life where marriage was the next step – I had finished college, and was working making decent money. My next step was to leave my parents house either through marriage or a job opportunity.

When I met my husband to be, I wasn’t thinking about marriage initially. After we started talking, and eventually dating or courting, I knew I was in love. We talked about everything. I felt loved, cared for, respected and accepted. When I said I do, I had no doubts and knew it would be for a lifetime. Though I was young physically, I never felt unprepared for marriage – never. I think part of this was due to our faith; we both took our Christian walk seriously and it is foundational to our relationship. 

Our wedding theme was – a three cord strand is not easily broken. 

This image was printed on our invitations, programs and anything else it could be printed on.

We planned our wedding together, but I have to admit he was the real wedding planner. We bought a book and he followed it to a tee. I was not one of those young ladies growing up who dreamt of my wedding day and what dress I would wear.

During our ceremony, we said the traditional vows; I didn’t want to say obey, so I said love, honor and cherish. He pledged his undying love and I pledged my troth. Per Google - “Troth” means a promise of truthfulness, and is derived from the same word as “truth”. 

If you know me, I have not reneged on this promise!

Our first year was wedded bliss – we loved up on each other often, hung out and enjoyed each other’s company.  During that first year, I got pregnant, and while that enhanced our happiness both of us experienced uncertainty. I remember going to la Maze classes together, going to the gynecologist together, and delivering our first child and him being there.

I’ve learned many things through 22 years of marriage, 

but the ones below are those that stand out the most.

·         The good outweighs the bad – we’ve had job loss, relocations, children, challenging work schedules, children doing questionable things, differences of opinions, arguments etc…no major sickness but changes in health and bodies that we’ve both had to adjust to. I saw the toll sickness took on my brother’s marriage and what I’ve come to realize is that we appreciate each other through the imperfections; because if he’s dead and gone, I will surely miss him. I’ve come to realize that wherever I am in the world, as long as we’re together, I’m good.

·         Marital tiffs are temporary and necessary – the thing is temporary, may last 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 months. But recognizing it for what it is and working through it you move on, learn and grow.

·         We are each other’s friend – the first person I want to call whenever something happens to me, good or bad is my husband. The same is true for him.

·         Never make one person feel as if he’s better than the other – My husband came from money, while I did not. On the other hand, my parents never divorced, his did. We would both be right in feeling superior to each other because of our circumstances, but it really wouldn’t help us as a couple. We acknowledge where we came from yet forged ahead 

to try and build something beautiful together.

·         Baggage becomes heavy if not unpacked with love –knowing the other person has your back and your best interests at heart makes it easier to deal with the difficulty of unloading baggage.

·         “Please” and “Thank You” are the magic words 

sprinkled in with lots of “I love you” and “I’m sorry”. 

·         Children enhance your relationship, but never forget to work on your marriage. Our children always got a kick out of seeing Mummy & Daddy going out on date night.

·         Teenagers + pre-menopause + mid-life crisis = Turbulence! – Honestly, when these three intersect, what can you do but go with the flow, 

remember your foundation and hope that everyone comes out all right!

·         Individual dreams don’t die because you’re married, as a matter of fact they can flourish. The caveat is they make take a little longer or look a bit different than you anticipated when they come in to fruition, but it’s such an inspiring feeling knowing that someone besides you dreams great dreams for you and expects you to achieve them.

·         Communication is important – this sounds cliché but it’s true. You have to find a rhythm that works for both of you so that you can get things out.  Little things become boulders if you never address them and they can impact every area. In the beginning I used to be a yeller, and he would get very quiet.  We danced, and shuffled and figured out a way to 

communicate where both are heard and feelings are spared.

·         Don’t take each other for granted – do the things that put a smile on his/her face. BTW, it’s usually the little things like closing cupboard doors, 

cleaning up after yourself, hugs, kisses…you get the idea.

·         Pray as often together as you can – sometimes what 

you cannot say to each other you can say to God; but

·         Don’t neglect your own individual spiritual walk. – To take this one step further, just because you’re couple does not mean you lose your individuality; 

nurture yourself also so that you bring your best to each other.

·         Love is a choice – when you first start out, you’re starry eyed in love. Over time that feeling may fade but at some point you realize that love is a verb and you make an active choice to live out your love. You may not always like everything your mate does, but you don’t love them any less. For example, I strongly dislike that he now snores, but I’ve learn to adjust and live with it so that it’s not a stumbling block.  It’s always the little things that can trip you up.

·         Old love is different from young love – old love is like nice warm flannel sheets that envelopes you and always makes you feel toasty when they’re wrapped around you. 

That’s where we are and I like it.

·         We’re like night and day – but together we’re a perfect match. 

He balances out my emotional side, and I’m always giving him something to think about. 

You wouldn’t believe our conversations!

·         You gain another person’s perspective when you’re married to them.

·         Sometimes you have to tune out all the noise and do what’s best for the two of you – they’re so many relationship experts out there; many have good advice and some have questionable advice. Become the expert on your marriage so that you know what works for the two of you.

If I could do it all over again, I would marry my husband, because he’s the man for me. 

Something magical has happened within the past few months between us and I can’t actually put my finger on it. I think prior to this we had an argument where feelings were hurt and I know for me, something clicked and I said, “Why am I doing this?” Since then, we’ve had the most insightful and enjoyable conversations which has led to a greater understanding on both our parts.

I can’t change him, nor he me but I’ve seen how working on yourself can benefit the relationship. I used to pray for a gentle quiet spirit – God has a sense of humor, because He took his time answering this request and used things like our marriage, and raising children to bring out these qualities in me. From the beginning, our faith has been our foundation which has strengthened our bond. 

I’m glad we’re doing life together!

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Thank you so much Nylse for sharing the lessons you have learned in 22-years of marriage.  

It's great how you and your husband have grown together as friends, companions and man and wife.   

And so many young people are too focused on the wedding and not the marriage! 

It's definitely an important lesson to remember this lesson!  

Question of the Day:

What lesson have you learned in your marriage/relationship?