Thursday, March 29, 2012

52 Weeks of Love: Jordy

My name is Jordy and I write about my life as a newlywed over at my blog, Jordy Liz Blogs.

If I'm being honest (and I've learned to be honest) about our first year of married bliss, 
it was pretty non-blissful. 
Nearing the end of our second year of marriage (celebrating two years in March),
 I have been doing a lot of reflecting on how far we've come and where we are going.
 As I reflect, the first year and a half make me twinge. It was hard, revealing and sometimes painful. 
Yes, there were wonderful moments and days, but it seemed that we just couldn't get our act together.

I expected it to be easy, fun, exciting and spontaneously romantic - all the time
I talked to friends who were also married and they gave me no reason to think that it shouldn't be,
 so what was wrong with our marriage? Why was it kind of hard some days and next to impossible the next? Why was it easy mid-afternoon and then World War III by dinner? There were Saturday afternoons of slammed doors. There were nights where I got in my car and made the loop around Phoenix, not wanting to go back. There was the doubt, regret and worry about what the heck I had gotten myself into.

Four months in, I wrote this post. I was crying out, seeking for affirmation that I wasn't going crazy. 
The encouragement I received from this post still rings in my ears today.

The thing I've learned about marriage is that it's hard work. We have to take it moment by moment, and if there's one bad moment, it doesn't mean the entire marriage has to be sacked. I've learned to pick my battles and let things go. I've learned to treat my husband with the same respect I expect in return. I've learned to let the dishes sit in the sink if it means sitting by my husband on the couch for ten extra minutes. I've learned that sometimes we just need to get out of the house. I've learned that we are two very different people, but if we were the same, we'd be in trouble.

Through blogging our story, I've learned to be honest. And if I'm being honest, there is no one I'd rather go to sleep with at night and wake up to in the morning. If I'm being honest, my husband has way too much patience with me. If I'm being honest, the really great moments tend to overshadow the sticky ones, regardless. I never want to paint a picture of pure bliss, because I never want a newly married couple to feel like they're doing something wrong. I felt like I was doing something wrong for four months. That's a lot of wasted time. These days, I'm not wasting time. I'm enjoying it.

And you know what? It's good. It's a one-of-a-kind experience if you're willing to fight for it. It's the greatest life lesson if you're willing to learn from it. It's the most clear picture of what selflessness and pure love looks like if you're willing to let it shine through you.

Make sure to read our unique story over at my blog and be encouraged in your own story. It's worth it.


Thank you Jordy for sharing how you celebrated 52 Weeks of Love!
It looks like you've learned a lot over the last two years of marriage.
Many more years to you!


Vanisha @ Vanishas Life In...Australia said...

I'm most encouraged by these posts because it just does to show how different marriages and relationships are and how we need to work with and make the best of what we have. Our first two years have been quite different but I'm learning to accept that. Our dating years were a lot harder then our marriage years, I feel like we're a couple going through that flirty young love stage but thank you Jordy for your beautiful words and encouragement <3

Jordy Liz said...

thank you for including me!

Nicole said...

This was a wonderfully honest post. Marriage is not all butterflies and roses. I feel your pain Jordy, as sometimes I feel the same way. It takes a lot of work, and you both have to get to that place of wanting to work. If you don't, then it's going to be even harder. Thanks for sharing :)

~Style Bot~ said...

I really appreciate your candor. I think the first year is always different that what most couples expect. Heck, my husband and I spent our first year of marriage separated while he was on orders to Korea. The most important thing we can do is keep the big picture in the forefront of our minds and just keep working at it! Thanks for sharing!

With Class and Sass, Khalilah

Blicious said...

i love LOVE!

Katie said...

i love and appreciate this post! marriage is hard work and it's always encouraging when others open up about their marriage!