Secret Newlywed Behaviors: Taking His Last Name

Happy Friday Friends!!

found: http://99plusforever.blogspot.com/2009_11_01_archive.html
Main Source Unknown

Another Secret Newlywed Behavior is that i have NOT changed my last name as of yet.

I want to but i've just had too much other stuff going on.

How can other stuff get in the way of becoming the Mr's. official Mrs?!

But sometimes life gets in the way and other things take precendence 

like figuring out my immigration issues.

Remember i am actually Canadian who moved to the U.S of A for LOVE 

and currently working under a Visa. 

Clearly i am in the USA to stay and hence there are a few things i need to get done 

before i can change my name and other official documents.

In a lot of ways, i feel like a bad wife because i haven't changed my name 

and our one year anniversary is coming up.  

But i think Mr. Pancakes' understands 

and i am NO LESS his wife because i have not officially taken his last name.

So i am making this confession as a newlywed to give myself a break.

If you are a newlywed out there...give yourself a break too.

There time and place for everything in marriage.

But trust me, it is on my list of to-do's as I am taking the steps to 

Taking His Last Name!

Question of the Day:

How soon after you were married did you take his last name?

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: Solo Time

Time for another Secret Newlywed Behavior Confessions.

I remember when i was in high school, i went to a lot of movies by myself!

Yes i was probably a nerd or a loner or both but nonetheless...i really enjoyed my solo time.  

In college, i probably spent too much time away pinning away for my home-based boyfriend

which lead me to do a lot of activities on my own.

But again, all these individual activities allowed me to grow.

Before meeting Mr. Pancakes...i was used to doing activities on my own like

movies, dinner, coffee shop and reading books at the local bookstore. 

Doing all the things i LOVED. 

I am finding it is important to have solo-time as a newlywed

because it makes me a better wife. 

It allows me to do activities which i enjoy including having friends outside of my marriage. 

Of course it's important to surround yourself with healthy friends.  

Recently i went to dinner on my own which was nice.  

Doing some pampering activities is also important. 

If Mr. Pancakes is unable to go attend church because of work commitments,

i will attend church on my own. 

This allows me to grow outside of my husband.

And i find a happy me makes a happy wife which makes a happy husband which makes a happy marriage.

It's all comes together!

Question of the Day:

How Do you spend your Solo-Time?

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: Sleeping Confessions!

Ladies, 

THANK YOU ALL FOR SUCH 

WONDERFUL WELL WISHES yesterday...

totally made my day and i do feel GREAT today!!

I am excited it's THURSDAY...what about you?

I haven't confessed any secret newlywed behaviors in a while 

so i wanted to share some related to sleeping...

1. A few weeks ago, i woke up to find myself HITTING Mr. Pancakes on the chest.  

Come to find out i was dreaming i was in a fight and apparently really pummeling the other person.

My pooer husband...he was SHOCKED to say the least...thank goodness he didn't have any bruises.

2.  I continue to steal covers in the middle of the night...

so now we've purchased a KING SIZE comforter and that's appears to be working well (so far)

3.  Another night...i must have been TALKING in my sleep and he asked me:

 "babe....are you ok?"

And i answered:

"i am thinking about my parking tickets!"

SERIOUSLY??!! 

What is wrong with me?  

I might be stressed out!!

But when you are in DC and continue to get parking tickets...

life can be stressful...

they are vultures over here!

Hopefully soon i will return to my regular sleeping schedule....

i don't want to scare my husband by beating him up in the middle of the night...

or speaking nonsense in my sleep

NOT sexy leading up to Valentine's Day!

Question of the Day:

Have you had any weird sleeping moments as of late?

(Please share so that i don't feel crazy in my newlywed mode)

Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?

Hello Friends...it's definitely awesome to be back from my digital sabbatical.

I enjoyed unplugging  BUT I truly missed blogland and glad i am back!

This morning Monday, i wanted to pose the question: 

Is your spouse your best friend?

Many times when we get married, we refer to our spouse as our best friend.  

Which sounds nice and fluffy however in actuality,

 is he or she really your best friend? 

The person you call, "your person", 

the one you share the most embarrassing details of your life--

like the time you took the medication that made you have diarrhea.  

The one you call in the middle of the night if the police pulls you over.  

You know "your person!" 

Is that your spouse?

According to the Urban Dictionary,  a best friend is described as:

They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. 

You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life.

They give the best hugs in the world!

They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. 

In most cases they would take a bullet for you, cause it would be too painful to watch you get hurt. 

Wikipedia refers to the value of friendships

 is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

The tendency to desire what is best for the other

Sympathy and empathy

Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, 

especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart

Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support

Enjoyment of each other's company

Trust in one another

Positive reciprocity — a relationship is based on equal give-and-take between the two parties.

The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement.

When we take stock of our relationships with our spouse, 

we shouldn't just say they are our best friends, we should actually act upon it. 

We should really value them according to the value scale above.

Recently, Mr. Pancakes and i went through a situation which

 made me realize as much as i refer to him as my best friend,

 i wasn't valuing him as my best friend.  

I shared things with him BUT

 i wasn't sharing ALL my deepest and darkest secrets 

from the past and having this realization come to life 

(at the gentle encouragement from my wonderful husband) 

we were able to have an open dialogue which i believed has strengthened our marriage

 even more so than i thought possible.

Where i thought i was going be judged, he embraced me and accepted me.
Where i thought were shameful moments, he laughed them off with me...

I realized not sharing some parts of myself with him (as trivial as it may be) 

made him feel like he didn't know all of me. 

 And aren't best friends supposed to know all about each other?

I know i have the best husband in the world but having this open and honest dialogue

 made me realize the importance of having your spouse as your best friend.

And i believe this is the best lesson we have learned so far in our young and awesome marriage.

As a newlywed, i am finding out the "getting to know you" stage

 continues all the way through your marriage.

 And i am so glad Mr. Pancakes and i value open communication and truth telling,

 whether it be bad, good and ugly. 

We have decided to talk and work through it

 because we value our relationship as best friends, wife and husband.  

Now when we both say we are each other's best friend, 

i know and he knows unequivocally we are each other's best friend 

and this is a wonderful feeling.  

Question of the Day

1) Is your Spouse really your best friend?

2) What makes your spouse your best friend?

Team Pancakes went there...we took a Risk and Survived!

http://mynewwifelife.blogspot.com/2011/12/thriving-love-thursday-1.html

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: The Best Parts About Arguing...

No one likes arguements and disagreements 

during the honeymoon period however Team Pancakes is finding out they happen 

BUT the best part about this is what occurs afterwards.    

And of course they include...

including butterly kisses

Source

The best thing you can do in any relationships 

regardless of how long you've been married (or together) 

is to make amends quickly

 after an arguments and disagreements, 

however you do it..

do it fast and ASAP.

Happy Sunday Friends!!

Secrets Newlywed Behavior: The Gassy Situation!

I want to be as honest as possible as a newlywed 

so i thought i would be brave and talk about the gassy situation 

that occurs in marriage and relationships in general. 

I will try to do this without grossing anyone out!

Actually i am not going to use a lot of words...

thank goodness for SATC (Sex & The City)...

because this scene explains my secret newlywed behavior perfectly.  

You can skip to about 1:20!

Mr. Pancakes thinks it's suspect he never heard me do this when we were dating...

well of course some behaviors are just NOT appropriate in the beginning...

 however it happens in marriage/relationships...and it's normal...
only sometimes it happens at the most impromptu of times.

I don't even have a question of the day...just t

Happy Wednesday!

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: There's NO Fire in the Kitchen!

Happy Monday Ladies!

Welcome to another lovely week.

Here's what i am thinking this morning...

I don't think Mr. Pancakes married me solely for my cooking...

thank goodness because i am not the greatest cook in this part of the country.  

Don't get me wrong, i can throw down if i need too 

but i would probably lose in a cooking contest.  

Really though the only person that needs to enjoy my cooking is Mr. Pancakes and he usually does. 

Needless to say, i was cooking up a storm over the weekend.  

I had three burners going including the stove. 

 I was doing my thing.  

When all of a sudden i heard this noise...

beep, Beep, BEEP!!!!!

What? Huh?

And then i heard a female voice say:

fire, Fire, FIRE!!!

Huh? 

What fire?

 And who said that?

Come to find out our fire alarm system speaks

 and she says, "fire, Fire, FIRE!!!"

Apparently even when there is NO fire.

Seriously, i know i said i was a bad cook...  

But that fire alarm system lady was lying when she repeatedly said, "fire, Fire, FIRE!!!

I haven't burnt anything while cooking in such a long time...

and was completely upset by the lady's harsh and incessant comments.

Maybe my stove was a little dirty and giving out fumes that smelled like smoke 

BUT as a newlywed i have not burned anything in the kitchen.  

And i am proud to say, "there's NO fire in the kitchen."

The only fire in my house is the one between the hubby and i, thank you very much fire alarm lady!

Source

Because if i had burnt anything since becoming a newlywed

 (usually because im not in the kitchen)...

i would have confessed it before as a secret newlywed behavior.  

Really, i would!

Does your fire alarm system speak?

And if so...is yours a she?

(She totally freaked me out!)

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: Butterfly Kisses

I had a very thought provoking post planned

but i couldn't muster up enough energy to complete it.

So i will finish tomorrow.

But in the meantime..

i wanted to leave another nauseating post about how awesome Mr. Pancakes is!

Hey give me a break...i don't have a Baby Pancakes yet.

Here goes...my husband gives me butterfly kisses. 

Not butterflies in my stomach, although i do get those too. 

No..i am talking about actualy butterfly kisses...without any butterflies involved.

(He would kill me if he knew i was sharing this but it's the cutest thing ever!)

The butterfly kisses goes like this,

he rubs his eyeslashes against mine.

Yes, eyelash to eyelash!

It is the cutest thing ever!

And no matter what mood i am in, i will smile, giggle and just feel warm all over!

You should try it one of these days.  (perferrably with someone you are close to)

The other person may think you are crazy but after they realize what you are doing,

they will smile, giggle and appreciate it.

There are fairytale kisses:

Source

Then there are butterfly kisses!

Source

You give it a try today!

Hope your day is happy tday!

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: 365 Days of err..Fun!

Ladies, we are all adults in the room right?

If you are not of age, PLEASE don't read further!

So recently i came across a book at Borders...

remember the crazy-going-out-business-sale, 

well i made some great purchases...

and one of them was for Mr. Pancakes
on a whim...as a joke...but we all know how our jokes can end up...
lost in translation sometimes!

Nerve.com came up with a book entitled:
Position of the Day Playbook.

Yes you read it right and the subtitle explains it further:

Sex Every Day in Every Way!

If you could see me blush..i would be blushing right now.

As if i really needed to buy him a book to support what we enjoy doing naturally.

But it's important to spice it up sometimes in marriage...
no matter how new or matured. a marriage is.

Mr. Pancakes of course LOVED it.
 Although he spent the first few days reading out LOUD the names of the positions
 and LOLing from the creativity of the writers.
The book is a whoot!

Here are some of the titles:
1/30-The Monkey See Monkey Do
2/17-The unbearable lightness of being
5/17-She's the King of the World
7/4-The Fourth of July Hotdog
10/11-The No Pain No Gain

You get the drift of the book...

There are 365 days of interesting moves...
some names/positions are just totally inappropriate
and some you need to be too limber for my liking.

But the funniest & most intriguing aspect of the book is that it gives you the following:
365 Days of err...fun positions.
 Calories burned for both parties.
 The equipments required.
The Benefits of the position.
The Hazards.
And of course a Rating System.

For example:
Date: 10/17
Name: The Trust Fall
Calories: Him: 117.6  Her: 84
Equipment: Rocking  chair, optional, insurance
Benefit: New Sense of  Trust in Relationship
Hazards: Back/neck pain
Rating Scale: Whoa (as in crazy)!

You have to be adventurous to try MOST of the positions in the book.

To be honest, we have been having too much fun laughing
at the names of some of the positions to actually try them.
But i am thankful there are such books out there to help people spice up their marriages.  

After the laughter, we hope to enjoy 365 days of fun!
Check out the book here if you are interested:  podo

But really....
have you ever purchased a book
or a little something to spice up the loving in the bedroom?

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: The List

This SNB is more pre-marriage but oh well...i still want to share!

Before i met Mr. Pancakes, i made a list of the qualities i wanted in a life partner.

You could say the men around me weren't cutting it 

so i thought i would put pen to paper and list the qualities i was looking for

i wanted to list dream up the perfect man into being!

don't judge me...

whenever i want to focus on a goal, it helps to make a list.

Recently i came across the list and thought i would share with my lovely readers.

Source

Here's the list, 

written 7.30.06 

(yes i actually wrote a date--thank goodness for journals)

1. God fearing

2. Honest

3. Patient

4. Kind

5. Nice (as if nice and kind are different)

6. Hardworking

7. Caring

8. Smart

9. Good looking--nice eyes, lips, body (muscles)

10. Encouraging

11. Motivating

12. Optimistic

13. Ambitious

14. Slow to act (i am not sure what i meant by this)

15. Supportive

16. Would be a great father

17. Good friend

18. Watches movies with me

19. Will play scrabble with me

20. Loves me unconditionally

21. Well dressed

Amazingly Mr. Pancakes has all the above qualities and then some!

You could say i listed dreamed up an awesome man!

Did you have a list? 

for the ideal man? or job? anything?

RIP: Steve Jobs, Apple creator, your genius will live on forever!

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: My Husband Can't Dance!

This is more of a newlywed secret confession...
my husband can't dance
but i love him anyway!

I mean he comes from a  family of boogie-down dancers

so i am not sure where he missed out on the gene.  

For our wedding, we took a one day crash course in basic sidestep.  

Which he learned fairly quickly so our slow dance looked beautiful.  

However when it came to our fast songs, he was all over the place and i mean,

he is soooooooooooooo awkward on the dance floor.  

I mean truth be told, he dances like he doesn't hear the music.  

Whenever we dance together, i get all confused about the beat of the music because he is so off.  

Ok, ok, he is NOT that terrible but he doesn't dance like a black person! 

But i love him because he tries. I love to dance.  And he indulges me.

 Recently at my friend's birthday party, he danced with me, off beat and all 

and for this i love him and he is AMAZING! 

He danced more at the party than he did our wedding.

I have to give it to Mr. Pancakes though, he is awesome at slow dancing!

And just to celebrate his dancing skills, here is the proof from our wedding. 

Our final dance!

Get down baby!

Yes he is doing the side step in a smooth way!

I love you babeee!!!

Is there anything your hubby can't do well
but you love him anyway?

p.s: to find out whether your identity has changed since you've been in your relationship/marriage,
head on over to TC30s for a great article on the topic!

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: NFL Eye Candy

In honor of the 2012 NFL season, i will be sharing a secret newlywed behavior related to some football!

An older lady who was married for over 40 years before her husband died gave me this advice: "always enjoy sports with him even when you don't understand. Ask questions and be interested in his activities and interests!" 

And being a newlywed, i am all over it.
But i must say sometimes...just sometimes when he is watching football games (Sundays, Mondays and Thursdays)
and i don't understand some of the plays like for the hundredth time "when does a blitz occur?"
 I tend to tune out until there is a TOUCHDOWN!
That one i know!
But while i am tune out, i must say i am enjoying some of the NFL eye candy that are the players!

So i thought i would share some of my favorite NFL Eye Candy with you all.
But heed the advice of my older lady friend,
 "be interested in his activities and interests!" 

Ochocinco!

Tim Tebow

Michael Vick

Cutie pootie: Drew Brees

Tom Brady

And my favorite eye candy of all...because he resembles Mr. Pancakes!
Terrel Owens!



And i couldn't end without:




And just in case,
i ever want to impress my man about some of the football plays,
 i go here to learn the meanings of the football terms.  

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: Keeping it Spicy

My husband is taking out some change from his pants pockets.

He takes out the change and starts tossing it up and down.

He looks over at me...

I look back at him.

He winks...and says?

"You wanna do something strange for some change?"

I look at my husband and burst out laughing.

I know where his dirty mind is.

After my laughter subsides, I look at him and reply:

"Sorry, i can't do something strange for some change."

He looks disappointed.

And so i say, "But i will do something strange for some paper!"

I know it doesn't rhyme...

but i have to make my services come across expensive.

My husband smiles at my response!

End of Story.

Secret Newlywed Behaviors Lesson: Sometimes you just gotta keep it fun and spicy!

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: High School Version

This version of Secret Newlywed Behaviors is brought to you by way of Superbad!

When my best friend and i were in high school (in Canada), we went downtown into this dark and dingy store where the stairs led us into a basement.  I am not even sure who told us about this place.  But there we were, two high school kids in a dark and dingy tattoo parlour.  No we were not there to get tattoos... but fake ids.

Yes we did a McLovin! Such a cliche but so true.



It was actually very easy for the bff and i to get our ids.  We paid like twenty bucks.  They took our pictures and superimposed them on US driver's licenses.  They were meant as a souvenir and not meant to be used as a proper ID the dude informed us, ever so legally!

My bff and were beyond excited.  For like three years, from 15-18, we used our ids to attend numerous over 19 clubs.   We had a lot of fun those three years.  I think we told our parents we were going to all-ages clubs whenever we went out.  We didn't do anything bad.  We would go, dance and just have fun! We felt so grown-up. (in hindsight we had no idea what it meant to be a grown up!)

There was of course that one time that the bff was asked by the bouncer, "what's your zip code?" and she looked at him with a blank stare!  A. total. complete. blank. stare!  Needless to say we didn't get into the club that night.  So embarrassing!  Or that time the bouncer told me there was no way i could be who i say i am.
Total Fail!

.  

The things we do as teenagers! When we finally started going to clubs legally, it wasn't even fun because we had been going for like three years, illegally!  I am so scared of what my kids are going to come up with.  And i don't even have them yet.  Secrets do catch up with you sometimes through your kids! (i think).

What is the craziest thing you did as a teen?

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: Sweets!

Sometimes...just sometimes when Mr. Pancakes is not around...i indulge a little...just a little...never all at once..

'Nuff Said.

Have a chocolaty August First!

Secret Newlywed Behaviors: The Sports Fan!

I wanted to share another secret newlywed behavior!

I love watching sports but man they get to my emotions.  I love it when my team is winning! It makes me feel good.  However as soon as they lose, i get sad and blue.  I know, i'm a little too emotional and get invested for all the wrong reasons.  

Remember when Samantha (from SATC-Sex and the City) dated that guy that was obsessed with sports and the relationship only worked when his team was winning? Well, i am not that obsessed but i am fairly close (it's never directed at Mr. Pancakes but im sure he gets a brunt of my disappointment).

For example, when the Miami Heats lost against Dallas Mavericks, i didn't want to read or hear anything about the loss at all.  I still haven't read any articles or looked at pictures.  I could be a sore loser but I'm working on it. 

This morning i found out that the William sisters have been knocked out of Wimbledon (tennis tournament in London) and i was so disappointed.  Realistically, i know they can't win each tournament.  But i like when they remain in the tournament until at least the end.  Watching sports is not fun, if you are not invested.  I'm invested.  But sometimes to my detriment.    

Mr. Pancakes, on the other hand, enjoys watching sports and does not invest in any particular teams too much.  He also does not invest too much emotions into sports.  He becomes disappointed for a few moments but does not dwell on it.  He does not turn off the TV if his team is loses.  He does not avoid reading articles about the loss.  Could be because he played sports himself, i don't know.  But i could learn from him not to be so overly emotionally invested.

I need to continue telling myself, sports is for enjoyment and entertainment and it's meant to be enjoyed, win or lose.  I'm learning to just enjoy sports.

Currently, I'm invested in Rafael Nadal during Wimbledon.  I know he will win.  However, if he does not, i will be upset for only a few moments but then return to enjoying my life as a newlywed!

My kid could become like this if i don't tone down my un-sportsmanship behaviors! And that's not cool!

Ladies, do you have any secret newlywed sports behaviors?

Secret Newlywed Behaviours!

My name is Mrs. Pancakes.  I am a newlywed! And my secret newlywed behaviour is reality-tv!

  

I secretly enjoy watching Khloe and Lamar on E! i know... i know but we all have our secret newlywed behaviours.  Mr. Pancakes is always making fun of me when i watch them because he thinks Lamar is a little on the slow side! But i find them so endearing because i think they are cute and passionate with one another.  They are quite adorable when it is just them (without her overbearing mother and fake sisters around--i always found her to be the most normal and smart one!)

I hope for their own sake that their marriage and relationship last. 

Although i believe a lot of things are made for tv...i hope for the sanctity of marriage and their marriage...they make it work forever! Apparently their love is unbreakable according to their perfume (which i have never tried!)

What is your secret newlywed behaviour?

(i am canadian so most of my words will have the letter u's...i really can spell!)