Tuesday Tributes: Important Details...

This Tuesday Tribute is a little venting session and a little focus on the important details of weddings and marriages!

Today is exactly five months away from the big day! 

The day i move from Miss Pancakes to Mrs. Pancakes! 

Right now according to my handy dandy countdown:

 I have 150 days, 12 hours, 3 minutes and as of right now 35 seconds to marrying my best friend and the seconds continue to tick away!

Generally we have the biggest things completed, the venue, the dress and we are plowing along with other tasks. But to be honest i am not a stressed out bride as most brides are, which i believe makes me sort of "whatever" about the whole wedding process.  I am excited about getting married to Mr. Pancakes and continuing our lives as Team Pancakes!  

However, the more wedding blogs i come across and more posts i read, the more i realize most of these girls are insane and overly involved in their wedding process.  These girls appear to be consumed with all things wedding!   The more posts i read the more irritated i become at how these girls allow themselves to become soooooooooooooooo overwhelmed and stressed out that nothing matters except for the wedding planning.   

I just hope that they are also planning the post-wedding-THE MARRIAGE! Maybe i am a little bitter---that's not even the right word--but maybe a little jaded because i feel like so many girls focus on ALL these unnecessary aspect of the wedding like the invitation.  I was on the weddingbee.com and it appears that every single bride on there is attempting to out-do the other with the details of their wedding.  

Or copying each other's ideas!

My question of the day is how many pieces of paper do you need to invite someone to a wedding?

Who really needs all that extra paper including: SAVE THE DATE, FORMAL INVITATION, RSVP CARDS, RECEPTION CARDS, ENCLOSURE CARDS--what happened to going GREEN people??!! Just because they suggest all these items does not mean you REALLY need them!  

There is a lack of respect for the most important part of the wedding invitation that of the actual invitation: asking guests to join you in the celebration of marriage between you and your beloved! Truth be told, most people only care about that aspect of the wedding invitation anyway.  

Over the last couple of months (since really searching wedding blogs), i have found that there is an increased focus on unnecessary aspects of the wedding planing which bothers me.  Now don't get me wrong, DETAILS are a significant part of the wedding however i feel like TOO MUCH emphasis is placed on these details unnecessarily. 

The commercialization of MARRIAGE is part of our society and hence online.  But planning my own wedding has made me aware of the amount of money that wedding vendors and providers make.   How everything is marked up because it a wedding and how society places pressure on certain things as a REQUIREMENT to plan the perfect wedding.  The biggest diamond ring, the most expensive dress and shoes! Flowers all over the ceremony and reception sights.  The wedding industry has commercialized marriage to such a degree that the sacredness of marriage has been eliminated! 

Perhaps all of this came forth because recently we were in couples ministry at our church and after being around couples that have been married for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years, MARRIAGE is really put into perspective!  Some details are definitely more important than what our wedding invitations look like and or how our tables are decorated and or how big my engagement ring is.  Most of these couples the detail that spoke volumes to me was the simple wedding bands that each of them wore.  A simple wedding band is the only detail that i need to see to put everything into perspective.  As i reflected about marriage and the  wedding planning process, some of the important details for me include but not limited to:

1) The vow that Mr. Pancakes and i will make to each other 150 days, 11 hours, 42 minutes and 50 seconds and as of right now 35 seconds 

2) The details of bringing our families and friends together to celebrate our marriage is significant! 

3) The joining of our two families

4) The joining of Mr. Pancakes and i as a family!

These are some of the details that i am focusing on during this time as we plan our wedding towards MARRIAGE! 

This was a long blog post but sometimes you need to get it out!

Don't get me wrong, I am not a hater--brides should do what they want to do--focus on whatever details they believe are important for them and their significant others! But i feel like it is my civic duty to write about the commercialization of MARRIAGE and the need to pay attention to the important details during the

 wedding planning process and not get lost in all the other stuff which is just commercial! 

The wedding is only one day but marriage is forever (cliché but so true!) 

I want to send a shout out to Alida, a new follower to my blog, who has been married for 29years! Go Alida! You give me something to aspire to!

Tribute Tuesdays: Co-Workers

I've had several cute incidences with some of my co-workers about getting engaged and the planning of the wedding and everything in between.  Therefore this weekend, i wanted to pay tribute to each one of them for their good wishes, advice giving and suggestions about wedding planning, weddings and everything in between.
A little disclaimer, i work with ALL FEMALES, which can have it's disadvantages however i must say that these group of women have been great!

Even before Mr. Pancakes and i became engaged, my main boss was always asking when i would become engaged.  Therefore, it was no surprise when i returned to the office in June and announced to Boss Lady that Mr. Pancakes and i were engaged! She gave me the cutest engagement card--the only one to do so! I was completely touched by her kindness and warmth.

Another co-worker has been giving me advice about marriage and children and planning for all of it even before i was engaged--which is so sweet.  She likes to impart her wisdom about the importance of planning whether i want to be a stay-at-home mother or a working mother and how to plan financially for this.  Which is great because as a mother, she is wishing that she would have planned better before she had children.

Another co-worker had a friend that became engaged around the same time i did so she has been checking in with me on a regular basis, which has been sweet.  One of the things she did for her friend (which i wish my MOH had thought about) was to buy her a whole bunch of bridal magazines!

Another co-worker who got married a few years ago shared with me some of her wedding pictures and ideas about wedding planning which i thought was awesome.  She is always checking in with me to see how things are going with wedding planning.

I truly do appreciate all my co-workers questions and everything else in between.   I have always had  a small group of friends around me so for these ladies to engage me in the wedding planning process has truly touched me.  They are all wonderful in their own special way and i would truly love to invite every single one of them!

Due to this, they should definitely be allowed to share in my wedding day.  After all, these ladies i share most of my day! And i am hoping that i can make things work so that i can invite them all to celebrate in my wedding day!

TRIBUTE TUESDAYS: Wedding Bloggers

My Tuesday Tributes is a shut out to all the individuals that blog in the bloggin' world about all things weddings.  I initially started this blog in the hopes of writing,experiencing and sharing everything about my impending wedding planning process and truly i have not done a good job.  I have been sharing some of my wedding planning ideas however i have noticed that the wedding bloggers go ALL OUT!  And I am sure that is the purpose of their blogs and for this i am thankful and paying tribute! Here is to the bloggers that share ALL:

1) the steps in their planning process including amazing DIYs,

2) issues that arise with family and friends, 

3) pictures of their bridal showers and those that do research on flowers; and other decor ideas; 

4) search out unique ideas for the ceremony and reception 

5) finding vendors that i might be unable to find

6) all the other things they help us!

I have always loved watching wedding shows and reading magazines even before Mr. Pancakes and i ever met and or even became engaged.  I always loved all the prettiness of these wedding shows but never thought about all the research that goes into planning a wedding.  It truly is a blessing for someone like me that has no interest in doing all the research required to plan a fabulous wedding to have all these resources at my disposal.  

Here is the WEDDING BLOGGERS! High on my list is www.theknot.com which i love love love and have always loved because of the great things that they have to offer for newly brides-to-be!  Of course i love the www.weddingbee.com too however the ladies do come across too over zealous (for my taste but i still enjoy them)! However there are other mentionables that i have come across recently including D. Marie's www.TheWorldAroundHer.blogspot.com and www.EveryLittleKiss.blogspot.com among others; these ladies speak from the heart about their wedding planning experiences, which is great!. 

It is definitely refreshing to know that these ladies are passionate enough about weddings and wedding planning in order to assist lowly Miss. Pancakes plan the wedding of my dreams!  

Thank you wedding bloggers for making this wedding plan so very easy for the rest of the world!

TRIBUTE TUESDAYS: All your Worldly Possessions!..

Most mornings when i am driving into work, i will see several homeless men and women in the streets starting their day.  Most mornings i wonder what their stories are? Whose mother/father/sister/brother are they? What job did they have before they become homeless? What mental health issues are they dealing with? What addictions are they facing? And or were they just a paycheck away from homelessness and the check never came? I wonder these thoughts and  in TRIBUTE TUESDAYS, i wanted to shed some light and or sympathy on the issue of homelessness and factors that may cause and or add to it: mental health, addictions; loss of income and other related factors. 

Homelessness does not know age, sex, ethnicity and sometimes socio-economics.  For me homelessness is not too far from all of us and as lucky and blessed as we would like to think of ourselves, if we had mental health issues and were not dealing with them, we would also be unable to maintain jobs and our families and may potentially lose all that was important to us: our jobs, homes, cars, families and friends and with that our spirits to a certain degree.    

There is this one particular man that sits where all the political action occurs in the city and i always wonder "who is he?" Was he in politics at one point and he became jaded with the political system and something happened along the way? He speaks about political controversies every morning and always has some good wishes in the morning especially Wednedays which is always "Happy Wednesday!" And it usually is! All his worldly possessions are near this one tree and most of the homeless men and women i have seen have all their belongings on them in some form of fashion.  Can you imagine all your personal belongings on you at all times? 

I pay tribute to all the homeless men and women i come across on a daily day: the man speaking to the sky the other espousing words of wisdom to God Almighty; the old man i see sitting by the street asking for money holding a bucket with a stick attached to it; the ladies and the men sitting in the park every morning and the one i saw today lying in his make-shift bed in the middle of the street as i drove by. 

I Pay tribute to their plight and the experiences that they have gone through and continue to go through.  I guess i wanted to blog about this because as i plan our wedding, i am remiss to think of all the blessings God has bestowed upon me and hope that he touches everyone the same way, especially those with all their wordly possessions on them. I SEND THEM ALL GOOD WISHES!

TRIBUTE TUESDAYS: Granny

When Mr. Pancakes and i first started dating, it was long distance and since trust is never well established in the beginning, i didn't always believe everything he told me he was doing.  Goodness, i am glad those days are long gone! Anyway, on most Sundays, Mr. Pancakes would tell me that he was visiting with his grandmother.  He would tell me this over and over.  And as our relationship grew and we continued to learn more about each other, i found out that both of his grandmothers had passed.  Therefore, the fact that he was visiting his grandmother was very suspect! 

Needless to say, i came to find out that it was a lady from his church that he had adopted as his grandmother.  A grandmother that he can sit with talk sports and laugh with.  Even more suspect right! Eventually, i moved to the same state as him and i finally met Granny.  Mr. Pancakes was not kidding, she is as quick witted, funny, smart and interesting as anyone i had ever met.  And since my own Granny lives far far away, i adopted Granny as my own too.  

She is independent where she makes her own meals even when you are trying to help, enjoys a good basketball/women tennis game; he has beat cancer, has had a heart attack, wears a pacemaker, continues to pay her own bills, has lost a son to the vietnam war and will tell you that she is too blessed to be depressed! Might i also add that she uses a cell phone and can tell a dirty joke! I am paying tribute to Granny because of all the qualities she possess but also because Granny should be more Great Granny as her date of birth is 6/6/16.  I mean the lady is 94 years-old and hardly do i hear her complain about her ailments.  Her dedication to maintain her independence is beyond anything i have ever seen.  

Mr. Pancakes and i have Sunday Dinners at her house and she will insist she does the cooking (sometimes).  Spending time with her has strenghtened Mr. Pancakes and i's relationship to the tenth degree as she has taught us so much about being in a relationship, marriage, having a relationship with God and raising children.  She encourages us to work together as a team and have respect for each other.  Knowing Granny has allowed me to think that we never know how many years God will bless us with however we need to live life purposefully.  

Living purposefully on many levels includes physical, emotional, spiritual and financial.  Many times when you hear about the elderly, there are concerns with their financial state and because Granny has lived purposefully, she continues to be financially stable and strong.  Also because she is spiritual, Granny  continues to experience something bigger than herself which has helped her to have perspective in her life.  Being emotionally strong allows her to not complain about all her ailments (of which she has many).  Which leads to her ability to be strong physically because she is not emotionally stressed and overwhelmed.  I can only wish God to bless me with as many years as he continues to bless Granny.  Of course she always says i only want to be 100years-old if i am "coherent enough to know why i am blowing out candles."

She is currently at the hospital and continues to say "i want to be able to be there to see you and (Mr. Pancakes) get married."  I smile at her and in my hearts of hearts pray to God that Granny will be able to attend our 4/23 wedding.  I pay TRIBUTE to Granny on this TUESDAY because of who she is and also because of how she has influenced my life and my relationship with Mr. Pancakes.  

I am forever indebted to her and i hope to say this to her during our wedding reception!

PAYING TRIBUTE TUESDAYS

There are many people I meet on a regular basis that sometimes I want to pay tribute to.  Of course there are many ways to pay tribute however prior to writing this post, i wanted to first define "to pay tribute." The noun TRIBUTE has 3 senses:
1. something given or done as an expression of esteem
2. payment by one nation for protection by another
3. payment extorted by gangsters on threat of violence

So clearly the 2 and 3 are not the definition i am going to use today to pay tribute to this person.  The first tribute is "a kind of approval and commendation: which fits perfectly into what i want to do.  I want to commend this person for who they are and what they do to a certain cause that is close to my heart and wish that everyone would have the same kind of heart. 

She is a daughter, sister, friend, woman, student, playmate, advocate, caregiver and other hats that she may need to put on.  The hat she wears everyday the most is the sister, friend, caregiver, playmate and advocate of her younger brother who has autism.  To see them play together, whisper to each other and share a laugh with one another is such a lovely sight to see.  Sometimes in the autism world filled with confusion and chaos, it is wonderful to see such a display of love and warmth between her and her brother.  A smile spreads across my face when i see him reaching out to hug and kiss her.  It definitely brightens up my day. 

She is warm and gentle with him and even though he can and has become aggressive toward her, she soothes and calms him down as much as possible.  She is an advocate for him at school, in community and at home.  She put on an event for other children with special needs so that her brother and other children can have an opportunity to engage in activities that they enjoy and like. 

One of the things i admire about  this person is her willingness to sacrifice for the well being of her brother and that's amazing because not many people will sacrifice their time, energy and effort into a sibling with special needs (as human beings, we can be selfish for many reasons).   She has been self-less in her many roles toward her brother and  for this i COMMEND her. 

Furthermore, I have seen the power of love in display (i know that sounds very celine dion-ish) by knowing this person and i will forever be grateful and for this i COMMEND her.   I also COMMEND her advocacy for autism, which is an incredibly difficult childhood disorder with many promises and hopes, visit this website for more details: www.autismspeaks.com.

Definitely ladies and gents (i don't know if i have any gents following me but you never know) there are individuals you've met and or know that you want to pay a tribute to.  Or a cause that you are interested in. Please feel free to share...Miss. Pancakes wants to know!