My God is Awesome...

Good Monday Morning Friends...

Church service yesterday was just what my spirit needed.

Sometimes you don't know what your spirit needs until it receives it!

God is always on time isn't he?

One of the songs the Youth Choir sang was "My God is Awesome!" 

and the song reminds us exactly why our God is truly awesome.  

The lyrics made me pause to reflect on some, just some, of the reasons my God is Awesome...

1. This time last year, i was recovering from thyroid surgery.

2. This time last year i could barely move my neck 

3.  This time last year, i was touching the hem of Jesus' garment 

because i knew if i did so i would be heeled.

4.  Today, i am healthy and strong and free of thryoid cancer.

5.  Today, i am pregnant with the sweetest baby boy in the world

6. Today, i am loved and surrouned by family and friends who love me unconditionally.

6.  Today, i continue to praise and worship The One who loves me the most.

These are just some of the reasons why my God is awesome! 

Question of the Day:

Why is your God awesome?

Via

Project Pink

{Project Pink} is a fun and touching day

 that Marilyn at The ArtsyGirl Connection invited me to be part of it. 

It's a day to dedicate our blogs to Breast Cancer For A DAY. 

And of course i was more than willing. 

As part of the project, we are supposed to complete a day of Pink projects

 {Crafts, Food, Touching Stories, Photography and Inspirations} 

ALL PINK ACROSS OUR BLOGS FOR ONE DAY To raise awareness and show WE CARE!

Of course i DO NOT craft and or do food posts

but i am willing to share something inspiring through words and photography.

I wrote a post recently about Good Bad Sexy Sucky Crazy Cancer and this part stuck with me:

Cancer is good. 

Cancer is sexy. 

Cancer is bad. 

Cancer sucks! 

However you choose to refer to cancer, in the end it's TERRIFYING!  

However one chooses to express their experience with cancer, 

it is their experience 

and it should be respected.

Source

Source

Today i want to reach out to all the individuals that are battling breast cancer.

Keep Calm & Fight On...

Source

This was a difficult video to watch however it's an important message we all need to hear.

I was really emotional for her when i found out she has breast cancer. 

 But i wish her speedy recovery!

Just as i am wishing everyone a speedy recovery!

Let us take care of ourselves ladies.

We matter!

Project Pink should not ONLY occur in October...

we should be taking care of ourselves every month, every day...ALL the time!

Good Bad Sexy Sucky Crazy Cancer!

As you all know October is breast cancer awareness month! 

And thought i would bring some awareness to my end of the blog world! 

Not just about the breast 

but about people's experiences with cancer.

Cancer is good. 

Cancer is sexy. 

Cancer is bad. 

Cancer sucks! 

However you choose to refer to cancer, in the end it's TERRIFYING!  

Sexy Cancer is a reclaiming of how cancer erodes the survivor's sense of beauty and self!  

(It's also a documentary).

Good Cancer for me was a way to share my experience with thyroid cancer.  

Sometimes i still don't believe i have no thyroid because of cancer.  

But i don't and that's all good!  

Cancer is bad because it just can be. 

Cancer sucks because frankly as soon you hear the word cancer in any kind of diagnosis, 

it feels like a death sentence.  But it's not always the case.

However one chooses to express their experience with cancer, 

it is their experience 

and it should be respected.  

During this October, allow individuals to share their experiences as they see fit, 

whether it's good bad sexy crazy sucky cancer! 

Source

The Good Cancer: The Happy Beginning

My surgery was scheduled for 6.3.2011, a little over a month after Mr. Pancakes and i were married.  The entire time leading up to the surgery, i was anxious. I was anxious for the surgery to be completed so Mr. Pancakes and i can really live our lives as newlyweds.  The anticipation for the surgery date was ridiculous.

Night before surgery, Mr. Pancakes and I hung out at the house with my family just relaxing and taking it easy.  We did take a break to pray with our pastor, which was so helpful.  I cried but it was more out of relief that the surgery date was approaching and i knew that everything was going to be ok.

Day of surgery, we arrived at the hospital too early for me.  But nonetheless, we got there, checked in, got into the oh so ever beautiful hospital gown under my bathroom and waited for my name to be called.  I prayed in the bathroom with my mom (over the phone) and i felt comforted before the surgery.  Mr. Pancakes gave me a big hug and kiss.  After this, i was called into the back room, met briefly with a nurse, completed last minute check-ins.  As i was meeting with the nurse, Dr. W (my surgeon) came in, marked me and assured me "everything will be fine."

I met with the anesthesiologiest, who asked brief questions about any allergies?  I said no.  As i waited, i was given a clothe to cover my legs to keep warm.  There was a lady sitting across from me and i smiled at her.  With my eyes i wished her "well" during her surgery.  The nurse came to get me into the surgery room. 

I noticed the machines and contraptions but i think i was definitely overwhelmed with the situation.  This was after all, the first time i was having surgery (of any kind).

The nurse helped me on the bed.  The anesthesiologist came to myself.  The nurse advised me to relax.  I felt the anesthesiologist prick me with a needle.  And i was itchy all over my body especially around my belly button region.  I remember the nurse asking "are you ok?" Dr. W telling someone his car got a ticket--i know--fortunately i didn't have time to panic about my surgeon making such casual conversation before such an important surgery because i was out in a flash.

When i came to, the nurse was asking me if i can hear her.  I was a little woozy so i couldn't respond but i think i felt ok.  The surgeon came by and said "the surgery went well, everything looks good."  I was glad to hear this.  I was then wheeled into my hospital room.  I remember the nurse saying "do you recognize this lady?" then i heard Mr. Pancakes say, "yes."

When i came to in the hospital room, my neck was bandaged, i had a tube to drain some blood from my neck to measure my calcium levels.  Due to where the thyroid is located, it impacts on calcium development. 

I was also put on IV.  I was in the hospital for two days because they wanted to make sure that all the levels in my body was normal including calcium. 

During the first two days, i was in pain and took several Tylenol 3s.  It was difficult to move my head, eat, talk, go to the bathroom and sleep.  However, i was feeling great.  Dr. W and my Endocrinologist  came to visit me.  Both assured me everything looked good.  On 6.5.11, i was allowed to go home. 

For the next three weeks, i rested and had several calcium levels checked.  I was able to talk and eat without any issues.  It was still difficult to sleep due to my neck hurting but i managed.  Overall, everyday was better than the last.   I have been taking my synthroid medication every morning at 6:30am (breakfast follows several hours later) and so far, everything has been going well.

Almost a month later, i received the pathology tests and it confirmed that i had thyroid cancer.  However, since it was so small and had not spread, i didn't require radioiodione therapy.   I would need to attend follow-ups every three months for a year.  Continue to take my syn-thyroid medication everyday.  This was such great news, i felt fantastic and again i felt completely blessed!

I returned to work almost a month after my surgery.  Mr. Pancakes and i decided i should take the time off to rest and just heal.  My neck was not hurting as much.  The scar would take a while to heal completely but thanks to my complexion, you can hardly tell unless you are staring real hard!

Since i have to live without my thyroid and be on hormone replacement therapy for the rest of my life, it is not really the end of my story.  But the beginning.  A happy beginning.  A life without cancerous cells running around my throat and or possibly body.  Everyday, i feel much stronger and better.  I cannot wait to work out again:-) I decided to take it real easy.

In the end, the good thing about thyroid cancer (in my experience) was that God was good to me. 

The Good Cancer: Fear vs. Faith?

One of the challenging periods during this storm in my life has been my faith in God versus the emotional side of being human, aka: fear!  Although i trusted that God will get me out of this storm too, i couldn't help but to have fears along the way.  Thank goodness for Mr. Pancakes for reminding on a daily basis to believe that God has already healed me.  The best thing he advised me was to "cry, be angry at the cancer but not to be scared and lose my faith in God's power".  

My first initial fear was of course, "i am going to die" until i found out more information about the treatment pathways. 

 My second fear was of course that Mr. Pancakes was going to have to deal with an unhealthy wife for the rest of our lives.  He deserved to be happy.  But then i learned he loved me unconditionally and as a team, we would concur anything including the thyroid cancer and live our lives.  

The third fear (possibly could have been first or second) was that i was going to have this horrible scar on my neck.  Vain is a powerful thing even when there is the thought that you may die. 

 The last fear which slowly became bigger than myself were the physical symptoms i was suddenly experiencing.  My voice was the most impacted.

Dr. W informed me that my surgery would have to be imminent due to where the thyroid was located in connection to my trachea and larynx.

 

There was a chance in surgery that the removal of your thyroid may affect your voice box.

It's amazing once you find out you have something wrong with you, you begin to believe you have all the symptoms.  Or perhaps, you begin to notice the symptoms more.

One of the symptoms was if i talked for an extended amount of time, my throat would hurt.  I figured it was something about the growing lump in my throat.  Therefore, when Dr. W mentioned the possibility of my voice box being affected, i became paranoid. One morning as i was driving to work, i parked and cried and cried at the possibility of something happening to my voice.

Thank goodness for Christian radio stations playing the right songs at the right time.  Of course, Mr. Pancakes was there to pull me away from the edge of despair and no faith! I cried and cried and in the end, my faith was stronger than my fears.

I remember telling Mr. Pancakes to make sure i could speak post surgery.  After surgery, my voice was fine.  I could speak without any concerns.  I had a voice that could thank God for his blessings on my life, yet again.  My scar was not as bad as i had feared.  Mr. Pancakes loved me and all my pre and post comments about my thyroid.  Now we joke about me not having a thyroid (and cancer).  

I didn't die.  I survive.  Faith in the mighty power of God (and what he is capable of) is so much stronger than any fear that you may have (and that's my testimony).

In the question of fear vs. faith....i chose FAITH!

To be continued...the happy beginning.

The Good Cancer: Treatment Pathway

The treatment for thyroid cancer usually consists of surgical removal of the thyroid gland (thyroidectomy),  radioiodine remnant ablation and long term monitoring. I will explain these in details.

Thyroidectomy
A delicate procedure because the thyroid gland is surrounded by many blood vessels and nerves.  Thyroidectomies are done in a hospital operating room under a general anesthetic.  the surgeon may remove all or part of the thyroid gland depending on the size of the tumor and whether it is suspected that the cancer has spread to other parts of the thyroid gland.

Following surgery, you surgeon or endocrinologist will usually prescribe thyroid hormone replacement therapy.  This will replace the hormone your thyroid gland was producing prior to its removal.  Without thyroid hormone replacement therapy, you will become hypothyroid.  Many people who become hypothyroid cannot function normally in their day-to-day routine.

Remnant Ablation
In addition to a thyroidectomy, some patients may benefit from an additional treatment called radio-iodine remnant ablation.  Radio-iodine may be used to destroy any remaining thyroid issues that the surgeon was not able to removing during the thyroidectomy.  Thyroid remnant ablations is not recommended fro all patients; whether it is will depend upon risk factors such as tumor size and tumor staging.

Thyroid remnant ablation is performed by giving you a dose of radiation in the form of capsule or liquid.  This radiation, called radiation iodine, targets and destroys any remaining thyroid cells that may be present in the body.  These cells may be normal thyroid cells, cancerous thyroid cells, or both.  This procedure is usually done several weeks after the thyroidectomy.

Thyroid Hormone Replacement Therapy
After your treatment has been completed, you will be placed on thyroid hormone replacement therapy.  Thyroid hormone replacement therapy consists of taking thyroxine which replaces one of the hormones that your thryoid gland would have produced naturally.  This is important because thyroid hormone has a role to play in regulating your metabolism.

My Treatment Pathway
Mr. Pancakes and i  debated whether to remove the complete or partial thyroid.  I wanted the cancerous cells out of my body and didn't care whether that meant i would lose my thyroid and be on medication for the rest  of my life.  Mr. Pancakes believed i did not need to remove my complete thyroid if the cancer cells were only on a small section of my thyroid.  I prayed.  He prayed.  We both prayed.

And when i finally spoke with my new ENT (ear nose throat) specialist, Dr. W, he recommended that i have a total thyroidectomy.  The main reason was that if he removes half of my thyroid, then radio-iodine therapy may not be effective (if needed post-surgery), i would still need to be on hormone replacement and i would merely have an appendage hanging in my throat without a purpose.  Psychologically it might make me feel better however medically and physically, there would not be useful.

For some reason, after these conversations with God, Mr. Pancakes and Dr. W, i felt a sense of peace i haven't never felt before.  I knew that the right decision was for me to have a total thyroidectomy and be on hormone replacement therapy for the rest of my life.  And amazingly enough, i was completely comfortable with this decision.

To be continued...fear vs. faith!

The Good Cancer: Causes and Types of Thyroid Cancer

The causes of thyroid cancer are many. 

Radiation--People exposed to high levels of radiation are much more likely than others to develop papillary or follicular thyroid cancer. (i received an xray during a dental appointment once!)

Family history--Medullary thyroid cancer can be caused by a change, or alteration, in a gene called RET. The altered RET gene can be passed from parent to child. Nearly everyone with the altered RET gene will develop medullary thyroid cancer. (no one in my family has this...thank goodness!)

Being female--In the United States, women are two to three times more likely than men to develop thyroid cancer (i am a female)

Age--Most patients with thyroid cancer are more than 40 years old. People with anaplastic thyroid cancer are usually more than 65 years old. (i am in my 30s)

Race--In the United States, white people are more likely than African Americans to be diagnosed with thyroid cancer.( i am African-Canadian)

Not enough iodine in the diet--The thyroid needs iodine to make thyroid hormone. In the United States, iodine is added to salt to protect people from thyroid problems. Thyroid cancer seems to be less common in the United States than in countries where iodine is not part of the diet. (i love salt in my meals--im African!)

I didn't focus too much on the causes because honestly you can do everything possible to make yourself healthy.  However cancer truly does not discriminate.  It will find you if that's part of your life's journey. 



There are four types of thyroid cancers (thyca).  Heretofore, we will refer to thyroid cancer as thyca because of course every illness out there has some sexiness to it:-)

Papillary and follicular cancers are referred to as "well differentiated" and are the most common types.  Together, they account for about 90% of all thyca.  The good thing is that these prognosis or long term outlook, for patients is excellent.  With regular checkups and long-term monitoring, the 20-year survival rate is nearly 93%.

Medullary and anaplastic thyroid cancers are much less common and are usually more difficult to treat, although great strides have been made in the treatment of all thycas.

The prognosis for any given thyroid cancer patient depends on several factors, including the type of thyroid cancer, whether the disease has spread to others parts of the body, and the patient's age at diagnosis.  Early and aggressive treatment as well as commitment to long-term monitoring is essential to achieve the best outcome.

And after my first and second fine needle aspirations biopsy (Mr. Pancakes insisted i get a second opinion just to be on the safe side) which came back suspicious for (guess away): papillary cancer.

If i had to have cancer, i guess i am glad it was of the thyroid.  And if i had to have a type, then i am glad it was papillary.  It didn't take away from the fact that i was scared out of my mind.  But in the midst of my storm, God was definitely looking out.

To be continued...treatment pathways

The Good Cancer: What Does the Thyroid Do Anyway?

Before i went in for the biopsy, i really did not know the function of my thyroid.  I remember Oprah mentioning it in an episode.  Therefore, i knew the thyroid had something to do with weight gain.  But the purpose of the thyroid is more than that.

The purpose of your thyroid gland is to produce store, and release thyroid hormones into your bloodstream.  These hormones into your bloodstream.  These hormones, called T3 and T4, affect almost every cell in your body and help control your metabolism.  Thyroid cells take up circulating iodine from the blood to create T3 and T4, which are then released into the bloodstream and carried to organs in the body, including the liver, kidneys, muscles, heart and brain.  

Therefore, the thyroid gland is an important function of the body.  And when i received the diagnosis for thyroid cancer, i felt that my thyroid had given up on me.  I felt betrayed in a lot of ways.  The different parts of my body were supposed to work together for my health and wellness.  And i felt that with the diagnosis, this wasn't happening.  

Initially, i hated that God had allowed this to happen to me.  His child.  I had several pity parties in the beginning.  I would cry and cry.  And feel sorry for myself.  Mr. Pancakes would hold me during these moments.  He prayed with me.  He prayed over me.  He was and is such a rock during this difficult time.  

I always prayed to marry a man that was God-fearing and during this storm in our lives, i knew why i wanted such a man.  When i told him about the diagnosis (i found out just before our second pre-marital counselling appointment with our pastor), he did not panic.  He gave me a hug, kiss and told me that "you are going to be okay! everything is going to be okay."  And i truly believed him.

Therefore, when i was weak, Mr. Pancakes was strong for me.  When i wanted to hate God, he reminded me of God's purpose and his promises in our lives.  When i did not have faith, he had plenty for us!

Mr. Pancakes became God's strength here on Earth for me during this storm.  And even before we said our "i do's", he was loving me the way God loves us: unconditionally and without measure!  

To be continued...which thyroid cancer is it anyway?

The Good Cancer: The Beginning

Thank you everyone for your well wishes.  By the grace of God, I am doing great. I didn't really want to talk about this because (in the beginning) it was too emotionally draining.  But I have been through treatment and everything is going amazing.  I thought it was important to share this part of my life with everyone in the hopes of helping others.  Another PSA (public service announcement) to all my blogger buddies.

Even saying the word cancer is scary to me.  However the reason i am entitling these entries The Good Cancer is because apparently if you are going to get any form of cancer, thyroid is the good one because it is usually treatable.

The beginning was when i went for a routine annual physical in November 2010.  My regular doctor was on maternity leave so i was seen by a new physician.  I liked her immediately because we were talking about weddings and how exciting married life is.  She had recently completed her wedding.  We had completed all regular check ups and she was checking around my neck.  After all, doctors do that all the time.  I had been to the doctors for a cold several months earlier and she checked my neck and said nothing.

But this physician (for whatever reason) checked my neck and noticed that "there was a nodule"on my thyroid.  Nodule is another word for lump.  She assured me that everyone has "nodules" on their thyroid and that "it is probably benign."  Of course i remembered the word "benign" from some course in school and was hopeful that the nodule is benign.  The physician suggested that i should get an ultrasound just to make sure that everything is fine.  And off i went (still in wedding planning mode) for the ultrasound.

I went in for my first  ultrasound ever.  For some reason, I thought that my first ultrasound would be when i was pregnant with Baby Pancakes.  Nevertheless, i went in for the ultrasound.  Several days later, i received a call from my doctor who informed me that "the nodule/lump looked suspicious" and she would like for me to see a ENT (Ear Nose Throat Specialist) for a FNA (Fine Needle Aspiration) Biopsy. I know all these acronyms!

The FNA Biopsy is the most effective way to determine whether the nodule is indeed cancerous.  I remember asking my physician if i could wait for the appointment because i had so wedding related things to take care of.  I spoke with Mr. Pancakes and of course he said i should go and get the FNAB completed.

So off i went and completed the biopsy.  At the appointment, Dr. B, who i found to be a little too rough and not very engaging, placed a fine needle into my thyroid and extracted cells from my thyroid.  It felt like ten thousand little needles sucking stuff out of my neck, it hurt so bad! But i knew it was definitely needed for me to know the truth.  

I went home thinking that everything is going to be fine.  It was the end of January 2011 and i had a wedding to plan for April 23rd, 2011.  I mean why would i think that i have cancerous lumps in my thyroid?  

A few weeks ago, i didn't even really know where my thyroid was and here I was about to find out whether i had cancer or not.

To be Continued...what's the use of a thyroid anyway?