LongLazySunday: Songs from our Wedding

I have been meaning to share songs from our wedding ceremony/reception 

because i LOVED the songs we chose.  

And this Sunday, Teams Pancakes attended early morning service at church

because we are both working.  

But thought i would share part of my day with you through our songs. 

Hope you enjoy your longlazysunday!

Have a relaxing day for us too...

Precessional-This is the day/wedding song

Entrance of Bridesmaids-Halo/instrumental

Bridal Entrance--Born Again/3rd Day

I totally started crying when i first caught a glimpse of Mr. Pancakes!

Recessional-This is the day that the Lord has made/up-tempto

First Dance-We Are Man & Wife/Michelle Featherstone

Final Dance-Fire & Desire/Rick James& Teena Marie

p.s: happy thanksgiving to my Canadian family/peeps!

p.p.s: we attended our first meeting of our marriage ministry group at church 

and there was some great discussion about intimacy 

which i will be sharing during the week.

The Marital Debate: The Alternative Sleeping Arrangement

Mr. Pancakes and i have been together four years and married five months.  

And one of the perks about getting married was we would be able to share a bed together, lawfully.  

But already, we are thinking about getting alternative sleeping arrangements:

separate beds.  

You remember back in the fifties, when men and women shared the same room but different beds? 

Think about it...the set up was PERFECT! 

Not only did you get your own bed to sprawl on, 

you were able to sleep undisturbed throughout the entire night.  

And sometimes don't you just want to sleep undisturbed...

wink wink, nudge nudge!

Don't get me wrong, Mr. Pancakes and i enjoy each other 

including our cuddle time, pillow talk and all the intimacy that comes with sharing a bed. 

 But we also LOVE to sleep.  

That was not on my list...but God knew what was important 

and introduced me to a man that loves to sleep as much as i do.  

However to be able to REALLY do so  means we both need separate beds 

where we can sprawl out, relax and deep SLEEP!

There is a case to be made here and i will share my arguments for bringing back separate beds.  

The divorce rate wasn't so high when couples had separate beds.  

Probably because they were not cranky & miserable with each other from lack of sleep.

When you share a bed, there is disturbance when one spouse's bedtime routine is different.  

Sometimes Mr. Pancakes likes to watch football games and i am ready to sleep.  

He disturbs me when he gets under the covers hence disrupting my sleep.  

I am a tosser & turner.  

I will toss and turn a million times before i finally find my spot 

(mind you, it's the same spot every night but i have my bedtime routine). 

I am sure this disturbs Mr. Pancakes like crazy.  

And let's not forget about the fight over the blankets.  

There have been mornings where Mr. Pancakes stated

 "i was freezing last night because you hogged the covers."  

Of course i deny, deny, deny...

i probably hog the covers because i do like to feel cocooned while sleeping 

(cuddling doesn't occur throughout the sleep process).

And yet again, let's not forget that one spouse always hogs the entire bed 

leaving a sliver of space for the other spouse (Team Pancakes has a queen bed).  

There have been many a times when i have to catch myself 

from falling off the edge of the bed 

because my awesome husband is practically on my pillows.  

He claims, he is cuddling.   

But honestly, cuddling only occurs until both parties are ready to settle into deep sleep. 

 No couple cuddles in the middle of deep sleep anyway.  

And let's not forget about the spouse that SNORES. 

Thank goodness we both don't do this on a regular basis.  

Although Mr. Pancakes insists i snore when i am really tired, i beg to defer! 

But again, with separate beds, there would be some distance.

Mr. Pancakes and i continue to debate this issue.  

I am not sure if we will actually go to separate beds.  

We love each other.  

We love our cuddle/pillow talk time. 

 We love to sleep too.  

We love to be comfortable. 

We like being relaxed in the morning.  

We are still debating this question of separate beds in the Team Pancakes household. 

In the end we will do what is right for us and our marriage.

But if you are debating this question in your household, 

here are the benefits of separate beds from Ask Men  

(i know, i know...i couldn't find a woman's version so i don't agree with all of them but it will suffice):

1. You will sleep more comfortably

2. You will never disturb the other person

3. You will have more sex

4. It will be like it was in the early days

5. You will remember why you are with him/her

These are just some benefits of separate beds.  

Would you ever consider this alternative sleeping arrangement? 

Would/could it ruin the intimacy in your marriage?

Disclaimer: 

Mr. Pancakes completely endorsed this post! 

He is a STRONG proponent of separate beds. 

And so am i! 

But we reside in a studio apartment 

so separate beds can't happen right now. 

Dang it!!

Dear D.C Pedestrians & 150 days...

Disclaimer: If you are a D.C Pedestrian, this letter is not to offend but to caution & educate sarcastically! 

Dear D.C Pedestrians,

You suck! 

You really...really do suck!

When the lights are green, that means cars are to GO!

You, D.C Pedestrians, are to STOP! 

When the little man flashes GREEN, you D.C pedestrians are to GO!

Me in my car is to STOP!

You D.C Pedestrians need to stop jay-walking WHEN CARS have the RIGHT OF WAY!

If you are going to jay-walk, at least WAIT until there are NO CARS coming at YOU!

Because you know what D.C Pedestrians....

I almost HIT YOU (two of you)today...TWICE...(in a row)!
And guess what...it wasn't my fault...
because i had the
RIGHT of WAY!

GO for cars

GO for people

There is a difference!

Cars and people cannot/should not all GO at once...ever!

Please D.C Pedestrians, get it together!

Sarcastically but with Sincerity, 

Mrs. Pancakes!

Dear Mr. Pancakes,

Today we celebrate 150 days of love, laugh and life!

Everyday i am thankful i get to wake up next to you.

And every night i get to cuddle with you.

You truly are the best part of my day.

And everyday i can't wait to come home just to see you 

(after i curse at D.C Pedestrians).

Everyday with you feels like a kid that gets to open up their Christmas gifts early...overjoyed, excited, elated!

Happy anniversary...

Today i celebrate you, me, us & our union!

I celebrate our past, present and future.

Here's to many many more days,

I love you to infinity and beyond,

I love you to the moon and back!

I love you always and forever...

you get the hint!

xoxo!

Mrs. Pancakes!

Source: Team Pancakes

A Ditty of Marriage!

I found this poem on Brooke Burke's website, modernmom.com and loved it.
It said everything i believe about making marriage a good one and thought i would share it with you. I have a little girl crush on Brooke Burke so of course i was excited she felt the same way about marriage that i did! Hope you like it! (i am not sure about the female crushes...i am just going with it this week!)

***

The Art Of A Good Marriage

Wilferd Arlan Peterson

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.

A good marriage must be created.

In marriage the little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted;

the courtship should not end

with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,

but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation

and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience,

understanding and a sense of humour.

It is having the capacity to forgive.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,

dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

***

I am striving everyday to be the best partner i can be to Mr. Pancakes 

and i believe he is doing the same thing.

Do you have any ditties that you go to about marriage, love or relationships?!

Ironing...

I am not sure how many of you ladies still iron but i wanted to pose a question out there about ironing.  But before i do, i have a back story.  My co-workers and i were chatting one day.  When there is an office full of ladies, there's a lot of down time to chat about all sorts of things. 

So there we were talking about doing laundry, dry cleaning and ironing.  I contributed the fact that i have been unable to find my iron in months (although i live in a studio, one would think i would know where everything is) and haven't been able to iron some clothes in the morning.  Most of Mr. Pancakes clothing items goes to the cleaners.  And the rest definitely do not need ironing.

Another lady chimed in that she has to iron everything, from shirts, to jeans to everything.  Of course, we were all like, "huh? jeans?"

She then proceeded to share that she also...wait for it...irons bedsheets!

Gasp! 

The fact that i can wear a crinkly skirt to work made me gasp at the idea of ironing bedsheets.

This is something she has been doing for years.  She understands that it doesn't make sense since as soon you get into the bed, the sheets wrinkle up.  However, this is something she has to do.  The fact that she can also make the best red velvet cake makes me think of Martha Stewart.  Ironing bedsheets is such a Martha Stewart thing to do.  

Therefore, ladies, my question this morning is:

Do you iron your bedsheets?

Would you iron your sheets?

My answer to both question is an emphatic NO!

But maybe i should find my iron for the skirt!

Marriage & Money

I know the chocolate was a bit much...so here's something a little more thought provoking and not as sweet!

During pre-marital counselling, one of the topics that we discussed was Money and Marriage! And of course as most or all of you know, money is the number one reason couples fight and break up.  I am sure this could be debated in some ciricles but for the sake of this post, i agree with this.

Money is definitely a sore spot for many people, individually as single people and then collectively after marriage.  

Before i got married, i had my ways of handling money. And Mr. Pancakes had his.  During pre-marital counselling, we talked ways to handle our monies  after marriage.  Even though we were living together before marriage, we both had "separate accounts" and split our expenses including rent,electric bill, food, cable/telephone and miscallaneous.  Mr. Pancakes had his "girlfriend fund" (now his wife-fund) and i had my "whatever fund.!"  We opened up a joint account to save for our wedding after we were engaged.  And this worked for us.

However, during pre-marital counselling, the idea of "the household money pot" entered our discussion.  The pot would be where my money was his money and his money was my monies.  Many financial gurus support this idea including Dave Ramsey  and Suze Orman to some degree.  While Dave Ramsey believes once you are married, all monies should be combined; Suze Ormane believes that monies you had prior to marraige should be kept separate while post-marital monies can be joined with some exceptions. 

Here is where Mr. Pancakes and i defer a little.  While i am completely in support of the "household money pot" without any exceptions, he believes in the exceptions.  The exceptions include if the other partner has terrible money management skills, is an impulsive shopper, overspends and or just bad with money! 

First Confession: Both Mr. Pancakes and I don't have credit cards.  We got raid of if soon after we started dating.  (i know there are some questions about how can you not have credit? Don't you need credit to buy a house? Dave says NO! Suze says YES! this is an ongoing debate with Team Pancakes, but that's for another post!).

Second Confession:  Mr. Pancakes is great with money!  He has his budget and he sticks to it.  Hence why he had a "girlfriend fund" which is now his "wife fund." I am not terrible with money! As a matter of fact, i have a budget too.  I just like to move money around occassionally.  So if i am running short on something during the month, i will borrow from my savings and then replenish it later (most of the time).  For Dave Ramsey fans, he is the nerd and i am the free spirit all the way!

The second confession is what prevented Mr. Pancakes from becoming gung-ho about the "household money pot."  He was worried that i would rob peter to pay paul, martha and john too! And potentially ruin our future by constantly borrowing from our accounts.  This was a legitimate concern but i necessarily did not agree!  I thought he needed to just go ahead, deal with it and join our monies together. 

However, the more he resisted, the more i had to look in the mirror.  Looking in the mirror, i could see i had some terribly bad skills at managing money from myself.  Once i got married and if i continued, we would never meet any of the financial goals we had as a couple.  If i continued to use and give money frivilously, we would be in the poor house (and not in the house i have always dreamed about) before we celebrate our fifth anniversary!  I definitely still had changes to do, including when i made a budget, i should stick to it and make it last after the month ends!

I am sure Mr. Pancakes looked in the mirror too because three months since our marriage was made official and six months since that first pre-marital session about merging our finances, my hubby/the man of the household is shifting his thinking about the "household money pot" idea.  I am not sure exactly what he saw when he looked in the mirror.  He may have realized that he can finally trust in my money management skills and or that he needs to live a little.  It could be many things and something entirely different but i am excited about merging not only our lives in marriage but in money too!

We definitely try to act as a team in every aspect of our lives (residence, health, money, TTC).  We always come together and compromise and try and find some middle ground in all areas of our lives.  Therefore, we will have a household money pot.  But to keep both our sanity in our marriage and marry both Dave and Suze, we will have our individual accounts for my "whatever fund" and his "wife fund."

Which side of the financial fence are you on: 

household money pot or individual money pot?

P.S: maybe this is a separate post all together, but how about combined taxes after marriage! That is something we will be doing together next year.  Scary! Battles all on it's on.  At least Turbo Tax! I've heard of couples that have had to use "form 4868 tax extension” because they couldn't agree on what to claim.   But like i said, this deserves it's own post!

Go Bowling!

When Mr. Pancakes and i first started dating, we went bowling on a regular basis.  One of our first bowling dates consisted of the winner doing some cheesy favours like giving the other one a back massage or something.  Oh the cheese!

Therefore bowling has been part of our lives.  That is why i wanted to discuss National Bowling Week, i know, there is actually a week dedicated to bowling.  This week begins July 31st and culminates on August 6th.  Guess what Mr. Pancakes and i are doing that week? you guessed it, we are going bowling at least once!

If you go on gobowling.com, you can download a coupon.   However there is a caveat (of course), you have to sign on and vote for the celebrity you want to see in the Bowling Hall of Fame.  After you vote, you will be able to download your coupon for a free night of bowling. I voted for JBeibster (Justin Beiber),

Also, August 6th is World Record Day for bowling.  Therefore, vote, print your coupon, get some funky bowling shoes and BOWL away with your hubby, friends, and family!

Enjoy ladies!

Establishing Roots

Even before Mr. Pancakes and i got married, we had talked about establishing roots.  You see over the past several years, i have moved too many times to count.  And since Mr. Pancakes and i moved in together and got married, we have moved three times. 

Now that we are married (and healthy:-), i am hopeful we will establish roots somewhere soon.  (i am starting to hate the kitchen in our studio--it's functional but so small).  The somewhere is the challenge.  We would like to make a move and settle in the next several years after our plan of being debt free, saving money and just being ready financially and emotionally.

Plus Dave Ramsey suggests being married for at least one year before knowing how far to live from your in-laws:-)

The somewhere could be the East or the South.  I feel as if currently we are in transition because we love living out East however we really want to establish roots somewhere in the South.

I do not know much about the South  except that the standard of living is cheaper and we could live in a nice big house with a large yard (and afford it)! 

Has anyone moved from the East to the South. 

What was your transition experience like?

Any suggestions and or ideas about where Team Pancakes should settle?

Happy Birthday Mr. Pancakes!

Today is my husband's birthday.  I feel blessed to share another birthday with such an awesome, God fearing, smart, handsome man!  This will be our fourth birthday together as a couple! And the first since we've been married.

There are some important requirements to celebrate Team Pancakes birthdays.  These are not necessary in order but they include: pancakes for breakfast, a card, dinner, cake and a gift.  It is never a birthday without a combination of the following.  I cannot wait to continue these traditions. 

This year i am quite excited about his birthday present.  Mr. Pancakes is a big fan of football, NCAA and NFL.  He played football in college as well.  So i decided to get him tickets to his college team (Arkansas State) against Virginia Tech! We will make it a weekend trip which he will absolutely love.  And he absolutely loved it.  And i love that he loved it! This makes me a very happy wife!
It was a total surprise and completely from left field so this was fun!

                                   VS.

I was fortunate enough to have saved up the money for his birthday gift so it was easy!

Today is also our engagement anniversary.  A year ago today, Mr. Pancakes and i went to Kinston, North Carolina, where he asked me to marry him and of course i said yes. Read proposal story here:
Proposal Story.
 Ten months later we were married on 4.23.11 and a year later on 6.22.11, we celebrate almost two months of marriage and a year since he made me the happiest girl in the world.

Everyday with Mr. Pancakes has been wonderful and our marriage continues to be a blessing in the name of the Lord! I cannot wait to share more birthdays and wedding anniversaries with you. 

I love this man!
Pix from our wedding..our last dance.  He sang to me:-)



Best Wedding Advice Received Ever!!!

During our church's Couples Ministry meeting, one of the couples that have been married for over fifty years said to us, "don't feel bad if you don't get it right...everything gets better as the years goes by." And i thought this was the best advice Ever!!!

 I feel like as newlyweds and even before we got married, during premarital counselling, we had to have everything right! We had to be great communicators; on the same pages about finances, children, family and everything in between.  But hearing the following messages, about couples who've been married for decades, calmed by nerves about not being "perfect" in our new marriage.

We just need to give each other room to be with each other in God's presence.   We needed to allow each other to grow and develop as individuals and as a couple! We are lucky to be surrounded by many couples from our church that have been married for many many years! 

Another lady who has  been married for 57 YEARS told me, when she found out we just got married, to just enjoy being with each other because marriage is a good thing! After 57 YEARS, i am definitely listening to her.  It's cute because her and her husband kinda look alike!

It is truly refreshing to be surrounding by individuals that have been married for so long and so strongly believe in marriage!

  Here is to wishing all married couples many many years of marriage!!!!!!!!

What is the best wedding advice you have received since being married?

Official Congrats from the Obamas!

I came home today to find a congratulatory letter from Mr. & Mrs. Obama. I had sent a wedding invitation to the White House several days before the wedding! Initially i wasn't going to send it but then Mr. Pancakes said to send it because it would be kinda of cool to have something back from the White House that we could show our kids someday. Therefore i sent it...i guess a little over a month ago. And in the midst of all the big events that has happened in the world...The Obamas took the time to sign a letter wishing us to have a wonderful marriage! That is kind of cool. Whether they "actually" signed it or it was stamped...it's a pretty neat factor to our wedding!

If you are a bride and interested in doing this. Send an invitation to the White House. For whatever reason if the First Family is unable to attend, they will send a cool letter:
Send your wedding invitation to:

The Honorable Barack and Mrs. Obama
The White House
Greetings Office, Room 39
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20500

Saying Goodbye to Wedding Blogs and Sites...

Now that the wedding plans are completely over and i have started my life as a newlywed...i cannot help but think it is time to say goodbye to wedding blogs and sites.  During the wedding planning processes, they were my go to sites for innovative ideas and themes, however now that i've accomplished the wedding of my dreams, i am saying goodbye to them.  I do not want to waste time going on wedding related websites in the hopes of finding out what the newest wedding ideas are or what the next bride is doing to make their wedding amazing...i need to live my life now in the here and NOW and not fantasize about other people's wedding ideas and thoughts.  Life is meant to be lived and i am going to do just that, live my life and not other people's lives.  That also goes for celebrity blogs...as much as i love the gossip, i will stick to only reading about them in the tabloids at the grocery store and occassionally at the bookstore.  Here is to living my life without wedding blogs and sites.   But i am glad that i am continuing my journey on blogger.com! That part of my prewedding days is definitely stay behind!   

Most Question Asked After I Do...

Since saying i do, the most asked question has been: how does it feel being married? I am sure every bride has a different answer and depending on how long the newlyweds are in their marriage, they will answer differently.  For Mrs Pancakes, i know i am speaking in third person but i haven't addressed myself as such until now...i digress. 

My answer to the question: how does it feel being married? is that nothing much has changed from our day to day.  However, the more serious long term, Godly things has changed, including everything we do feeling MORE LAWFUL..and PERMANENT.  I think the reasons that nothing much has changed in our day to day is that we were already living together before marriage.  I know this is frown upon by many, however for the Pancakes, this was the right decision for us. 

The first day back after the honeymoon, we came back and cleaned the entire house together.  I think having lived together before the "i do's" we had a routine and we returned to it.  However, there is definitely a level of stability and permanency to our relationship.  Mr. Pancakes came home the other day and said to me "Thank you Mrs. Pancakes for making me want to come home!" I mean he has said this before however there is a level of stability that we have never felt before and it is FANTASTIC!

I don't think we would have done anything differently in terms of living together before the "i dos." It worked for us, it may not for everyone.  It does feel really good to be married though!

What was the question you received right after you were married?